Sometimes definitions of sexual violence can seem confusing and exclusive. Remember that if you have been a victim of ANY type of sexual violence, you belong here even if you’re not sure how to define what happened. If you’d like to share your survivor story, or want peer support and advice, please consider joining the rape and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
We believe that naming what happened is an important part of healing. To learn more about definitions of rape, sexual abuse, and sexual assault, read below:
What is Rape?
Definition of Rape. The exact definition of “rape” differs from state-to-state within the U.S. and by country internationally. In the US, it is often called “criminal sexual conduct in the first degree”. Generally, rape is defined as sexual contact or penetration achieved:
- without consent, or
- with use of physical force, coercion, deception, threat, and/or
- when the victim is:
- mentally incapacitated or impaired,
- physically impaired (due to voluntary or involuntary alcohol or drug consumption)
- asleep or unconscious.
One of the most critical issues regarding rape is consent. Sexual activity should not take place unless both parties have freely given consent, and consent is understood by both parties.
- silence does not mean consent.
- if consent is given under duress (physical or emotional threats), then it is not given freely or willingly and sex with a person consenting under duress is rape
- if someone is impaired due to alcohol or drugs, that person is deemed incapable of consenting and sex with that person is rape (even if the impaired person says “yes”)
Was it rape or not? RAINN has a helpful three-part checklist to help determine if what happened to you was rape or not.
1) How old are the participants?
Depending on where the incident took place, a person under the age of 16 or 18 may not be legally capable of giving consent. Sexual contact with such a person is often considered “statutory rape”, even if the perpetrator did not know the victim was a minor. “Statutory rape” laws vary widely, so please consult a legal expert in your jurisdiction for more information.
2) Did both participants have the ability to consent?
If one party is somehow disabled, by age, disability, drugs, or alcohol, that person might not have had the capacity to agree to sex. If the person lacks the capacity to consent, sexual activity with that person is rape.
3) Did both participants agree to engage in sexual conduct?
This area is often the hardest to determine. If physical force or threats were used to coerce someone into having sex, that sexual activity is rape. However, rape often isn’t violent. No means no, and silence does not mean yes. It doesn’t matter if you’ve had sex with the perpetrator before, or were married to him or her. If you’ve had sex before but do not consent the next time, yet your partner continues and has sexual activity with you, that is rape. If you had already started, and then you say no, and your partner keeps going, that is rape. No means stop.
What if it was attempted rape, or there was no penetration? This is likely covered under your state’s or country’s sexual assault law. Even if you’re not sure the law recognizes what happened was rape, if you were violated you have the right to hurt and the necessity to heal. No one should delegitimize what happened because there was no penetration. The violence involved in an attempted rape is legitimate and can have the same impact on the survivor as a completed rape. Also, remember that rape can include oral or anal penetration. This penetration is not limited to penile, but can include other body parts or objects. The legal definition of rape can be tricky, but remember that even if the law is not on your side, many others are.
You can find out more about your state rape, statutory rape, and sexual assault laws at FindLaw.
If you are a rape survivor, or you think you may have been a victim of rape, peer support can be very helpful. Remember that it was not your fault and you are not alone. Consider joining Pandora’s Aquarium, a rape survivor message board, chat room, and online support group.
What is Sexual Abuse?
The National Institute of Health has developed a comprehensive definition that aligns with other World Health Organizations (WHO) and other countries to help define Child Sexual Abuse. The following is a quote from This NIH web site:
“CSA encompasses many types of sexually abusive acts toward children, including sexual assault, rape, incest, and the commercial sexual exploitation of children. Although there are some differences among these, the unifying term of “child sexual abuse” is used throughout this article to describe commonalities across these experiences. There are many definitions of CSA in use, each of which may have subtle differences in coverage or terminology that influence surveillance and reporting efforts, and potentially lead to different policy, service, or legal implications. According to the US Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), child sexual abuse is “any completed or attempted (noncompleted) sexual act, sexual contact with, or exploitation (ie, noncontact sexual interaction) of a child by a caregiver.”2 The CDC provides specific definitions for each of the boldface terms, distinguishing sexual acts as those involving penetration, abusive sexual contact as intentional touching with no penetration, and noncontact sexual abuse such as exposing a child to sexual activity, taking sexual photographs or videos of a child, sexual harassment, prostitution, or trafficking.2 The World Health Organization (WHO) defines CSA as:
The involvement of a child in sexual activity that he or she does not fully comprehend, is unable to give informed consent to, or for which the child is not developmentally prepared and cannot give consent, or that violate the laws or social taboos of society. Child sexual abuse is evidenced by this activity between a child and an adult or another child who by age or development is in a relationship of responsibility, trust or power, the activity being intended to gratify or satisfy the needs of the other person. This may include but is not limited to: the inducement or coercion of a child to engage in any unlawful sexual activity; the exploitative use of child in prostitution or other unlawful sexual practices; the exploitative use of children in pornographic performances and materials.3
Of note, these definitions include as CSA acts that both do and do not involve physical touching or physical force, including completed sex acts, attempted sex acts, abusive sexual touching, and noncontact assaults such as harassment, threats, forced exposure to pornography, and taking unwanted sexual images, such as filming or photography. In some instances, the recipient may not be aware of their own victimization, or that violence has been perpetrated against them. This breadth of scope reflects the recognition that imposing sexual intent of any sort on someone against his or her will is an inherently violent act, regardless of the use of physical force or resulting contact or injury. These definitions also raise the important consideration of consent, and identify categories of people who are unable to consent or resist because of age, disability, state of consciousness or intoxication, or fear of harm to self or others.
Because a legal age of majority is required for consent, all sexual acts between an adult and underage child (even with child assent) are, by definition, CSA. The United Nations Children’s Fund (UNICEF) endorses the Council of Europe’s definition of child sex abuse, which includes activities involving a child under the legal age as provided by national law, as well as sexual activities with children that involve coercion, abuse of a position of trust or influence, or exploitation of a vulnerable or dependent child.4 Additional acts of CSA toward children involve the sexual exploitation of children through prostitution or abusive images; profiting from or any role in the facilitation, observation, or exploitation of a child’s involvement in sexual performances; causing a child to witness sex abuse or sex acts; and child solicitation.4 “
The same article goes on to provide some good information related to why children are not comfortable or willing to disclose their abuse, saying, “Experiences of childhood CSA often go undisclosed and unrecognized. A review of the literature10 reveals the many factors that inhibit disclosure. In addition to being developmentally vulnerable, children are often manipulated to feel guilty or responsible for the abuse. These children may fear the disclosure will not be believed, or that it will negatively affect their own well-being and that of their families. Moreover, they may be concerned about consequences for the perpetrator, as often the perpetrators are familiar figures who develop complex, confusing, and ambivalent relationships with the child.”
The importance of providing intervention for CSA survivors can’t be ignored given the potential long term impact with longitudinal studies showing ” Child survivors of sexual abuse are at increased risk for anxiety, inappropriate sexual behavior and preoccupations, anger, guilt, shame, depression, posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD), and other emotional and behavioral problems throughout their life span.36–40 Research shows that survivors of child sexual abuse are more likely to experience social and/or health problems in adulthood, such as alcohol problems, use of illicit drugs, suicide attempts, and marriage/family problems.41”
Symptoms of Child Sexual Abuse. Parents and adults can watch for behavior changes in children that may indicate sexual abuse, such as:
- A noticeable fear of a person or certain places;
- Unusual response from the child when asked if he or she was touched;
- Unreasonable fear of a physical exam;
- Drawings that show sexual acts;
- Abrupt changes in behavior, such as bed-wetting or losing control of his or her bowels;
- Sudden awareness of genitals and sexual acts and words;
- Attempting to get other children to perform sexual acts.
If your child discloses sexual abuse to you, please believe him or her and seek medical and psychological assistance for both the child and yourself.
How to Get Help. If you are a sexual abuse survivor, or you think you may have been a victim of sexual abuse, peer support can be very helpful. Remember that it was not your fault. Consider joining Pandora’s Aquarium, a sexual abuse online support group, message board, and chat room.
If you are the parent of a rape or sexual abuse survivor, you are also welcome to join the Pandora’s Aquarium community as a secondary survivor.
What is Sexual Assault?
Sexual assault is defined as any sexual activity involving a person who does not or cannot (due to alcohol, drugs, or some sort of incapacitation) consent.
According to the U.S. Department of Health & Human Services, “sexual assault can be verbal, visual, or anything that forces a person to join in unwanted sexual contact or attention.” Sexual assault is therefore somewhat of an umbrella term, and can describe many things, including:
- rape, including partner and marital rape
- unwanted sexual contact (touching or grabbing)
- unwelcome exposure of another’s body, exhibitionism, or voyeurism
- child sexual abuse
- incest or molestation
- sexual harassment
- sexual exploitation of clients by therapists, doctors, dentists, or other professionals
Sexual assault is an act of power. This can be obvious, like in a situation where the perpetrator has a weapon. Sexual assault can also occur when physical force or a threat is used against the victim or someone the victim cares about. However, physical coercion or force is not always present or necessary. In some sexual assault, the violence is more subtle, like when the perpetrator’s age, size, or status is used to scare, trick, or manipulate the victim.
Anyone can be a victim of sexual assault. People of all ages, races, economic backgrounds, sexuality, and lifestyles have been victims. Males as well as females can be victims. Everyone deserves help and support.
How to get Help:
If you are a sexual assault survivor, or you think you may have been a victim of sexual assault, peer support can be very helpful. Remember that it was not your fault. Consider joining Pandora’s Aquarium, a sexual assault online support group, message board, and chat room.
Additional Resources:
In many localities you may be able to have free rape counseling for a limited number of sessions at the local rape crisis center regardless of how long ago your rape occurred. This may give you the chance to begin the process of talking with some one and then getting referred to a counselor or therapist after the free sessions are completed.
Community mental health resources are often available on a sliding scale where clients will pay a fee based on their income. More insurance companies are covering mental health services as they realize the benefits of a holistic approach.
If you are a university student you can often receive counseling services for free at the student counseling center at your university.
Additional Resources for Reading, NIH
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