"Get Over It"


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I constantly tell myself to "get over it". I have never been told to get over it from friends, but it has been implied by my sponsor. To not sit on it too long and broad over it. But my biggest problem is I don't give myself a break. It happened just 2 months ago, and I'm still in the healing process. Ive been told to be more gentle with myself, but I feel like it would be so much easier to just "get over it", get a job and move out and live on my own. Sigh. End rent. Sorry.

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  • 2 months later...
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What really gets up my nose is that every year, we have war casualty remembrance days. Soldiers are shown on TV crying as they remember events which happened fifty years ago. NOBODY questions their r

I think this article responds to the whole "Get over it" refrain brilliantly:

http://emergingfrombroken.com/standing-up-to-damaging-advice-and-overcoming-trauma-directives/

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Pavrita

Thank you for this. While having some CBT sessions My T made a comment that basically meant "put it behind you now, get over it". This confused me as I was beginning to think talking about it and getting it out was the answer (I dont talk to anyone) but had booked some counselling sessions to kick start my healing. I was wondering if I ought to cancel them but something was telling me it was the right way to go, this thread and the article have helped me realise I am going the right way. My T obviously has different coping mechanisms. Thank you for giving me confidence in my decision!

Jess

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I get the "Get over it" statement from my mother.

Normally it is in the middle of an argument over something like the dish washer or a cup on the sink, you know the highly relevant stuff.

She will bring it up and say something like, "you are still bitching about school, you need to get over it."

I normally point out the relevance of school to dishwashers and how I never mention it at all but that doesn't make much difference.

I then usually say something like, "Tell me, Do you know what happened at that school and what I have to get over?"

She has never replied to that, never even tried.

I then tell her that she doesn't know because she never listened when I tried to tell her.

from then on the argument tends to loose any structure that it might have previously had

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  • 2 years later...

I have heard this statement before as well. Heck, I even tell myself this all the time.

I can't help but feel like I am a weak person because I let this affect my life even to this day (even though what happened to me was over a decade ago). My question is, how do we stop hating ourselves for letting it continue to affect us? How do I explain to myself that I am valid in my emotions and that despite my attempts to assure myself that "it wasn't that bad", I fail every time?

Never mind my ranting, just gotta put it some where ;)

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  • 5 years later...
Guest AmberA

I guess my response to the "Get Over it" is I am trying.  Why are you telling me to get over it?  How do you suggest I get over it?  Since I have tried what feels like everything under the sun to get over it, which all helps but doesn't seem to appease the Get Over It crowd, what would you recommend?  I have tried to get over it since the moment it was happening.  I would love to get over it.  There are time periods where I let it go, but it resurfaces from time to time and requires me to work on stuff that I thought was resolved.  Is there some magic Get Over It program that I have missed?  Please send me the link and sign me up.  

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lilyvanilla

I hate that. my ex was of that viewpoint though not at first. i haven't talked to him in a little over 6 yrs. I mean that's not why but yeah. i guess he thought i was b**ch*ng. right ok. [yeah i do that but not in ref. to this. no cause ya know what? this is a real f**in problem.].

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Guest 18yearslater

Hello,

I once told a guy I was seeing about my rape (still very hard to grasp/admit) and he said "I work with girls that have been in serious situations, tied up in basements and stuff," he was basically saying what I experienced was nothing and to basically get over it because it could have been worse. This conversation took place about 10 years ago and I cringe at the fact he was working with young abuse victims. 

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Yes. Some people said that to me. It hurts a lot. It also makes you feel angry. I ask people, "would you say that to your daughter? family member? The person you love the most?

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