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Moose_Muffin

My friend who is out of her abuaive realtionship now said to me the other night that she doesn't want to be like me. She doesn't want to think about her abusive ex for years. As if there's something wrong with me.....that's super hurtful.....my friend doesn't even know all of what he did. I have never told any one of my friends because as you can see they are not safe. I don't want to compare abuse but she didn't and hasn't dealt with the same degree of physical violence and violation as I have. 

 

Really i am hoping by posting it here I can forget about her comment and just not add it to my list of things wrong with me. 

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Guest storm01

After sharing a few poems about my assault with my family, my younger cousin said “hahaha remember when that guy touched you” and I was just shocked. I replied telling him that it was a serious issue and not something to joke about, to which he replied “yeah but it wasn’t that serious and it happened a long time ago”. Sometimes I just wish I can punch people in the face. 

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I disclosed my childhood abuse and rape to an older guy.  

One day he asked "so what do you think is worse,  having gone through Auschwitz or your childhood?" 

...

Dafuq man.  I just said "I don't have answer for that" 

Seriously,  why would you ask that? 

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  • 6 months later...
EsperanzaRising

“G*d told me that it’s your job to make things right between him and your mom and you can be a family again” school friend said that

“Was it r*pe or was it just m*lesting?” My T said that while I was at a children’s home

“He must have had multiple personalities “ whether he did or did not have DID that doesn’t excuse abusive and shitty behavior. His abuse gave me DID. We know not to be what he is

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I can't remember if I've posted this before, but when I tried to tell a friend/mentor figure that I had been abducted, she told me I "shouldn't get in cars with strange men." Wtf. That's not what happened at all.

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My therapist told me that "scrappier girls" (like she had been, of course!) didn't have to worry so much about getting victimized.  Yeah, this asinine therapist definitely got me in touch with my anger!  If a therapist said that to me now, I'd reply, "I don't think this is going to work out" and stop therapy with that individual instantly.  To imply blame at a CSA therapy site is inexcusable.

Edited by free2speak
I wanted to clarify a little
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  • 1 month later...

I feel so sorry to read that for many these comments come from the people supposed to help you, therapists, family, best friends... Well, being aware that these comments are fucked up and not beliving them is still great. There are so many things people say "not wanting to hurt" or even wanting to help that are in fact absurdities... 

here is mine "who do you think feels most of the pain, the victim, the perpetrator or the perpetrator's mother?" I was so shocked I stayed in blank, so this guy I had just told about being agressed by someone from the same activity group answered himself "I think it is the mother. To know that your son is a rapist should be terrible..." 

What the h**l is this question? How to compare these things? The perpetrator is the only responsible, the mother most of the times has nothing to do and doesn't have a clue of what her son did, and the victim have scars from the agression so many years... I mean, really? Even trying to give an answer to this question seems absurd.

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Guest Jessthemess

Happened in Europe with a relative 

tried to tell brother 3 years later he said “if you got sexually assaulted it would’ve been your fault”

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  • 1 year later...
Guest Guest TLD

A male friend "he must have been a big bloke!" 

I'm 5ft 8" and a size 18/20 so I guess he was thinking of the logistics but come on really! He saw the look on my face and apologised immediately but still....

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  • 4 months later...
Guest Tea

Oh yeah, I think my worst like this was at my GYN, “survivors of rape don’t go get piercings” re: my nipple piercings and Christina. I don’t know about anyone else, but I love my piercings and they help me feel like I’ve reclaimed my body, it looks different than when I was assaulted. Plus I made sure to go to a piercer that was extremely professional! Way more professional than that gynecologist for sure.

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