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Top 10 Stupidest Comments


Jes

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Guest tallpixie

I decided to register for this forum so I could comment on this thread.  I think it's a brilliant thread - some of the stupid comments have had me laughing my ass off (not because it's funny, especially when the comments are made by professionals like doctors and judges and tharapists, it's frightening, but because I have a tendency to laugh at the sheer ridiculous and there's a lot of that to be seen here).  

Here's one to add:  After I was raped while travelling, I posted some information on a popular message board for travellers about how and where the rape happened as a warning to other travellers in the area, because at the time it looked as if there was no chance of the police investigating my rape.  (That has since changed, and the rapist is now in jail awaiting trial and I know I'm lucky in that respect.)  A few people replied saying that the story couldn't be true or that I had brought the rape upon myself because I was alone at the time that it happened.  I had expected that and tried to prepare myself for it, but it still hurt.  My favourite one  - one guy sent me a private message telling me that according to him there were some holes in my story, and that I never should have been raped because I should have been able to run away.  He went on to tell me that he has instructed his wife on exactly what to do if she is ever confronted with a man with a gun.  He also mentioned that something like this would never happen to his wife anyway, because when they are travelling he doesn't let her go anywhere alone, not even to the bathroom, and that I should have thought twice before being alone anyway.  What he thinks I should have done when confronted with my gun-toting rapist is run, run away, taking a shot if necessary (the weapon in question was an Ak-47).  

My response to him was that although you can plan all you want what you are going to do if you are placed in a dangerous situation, that if it actually (unfortunately) happens it is impossible to predict how you will react, and that I felt bad for his wife because she couldn't even go to the bathroom by herself.  In hindsight I wish I had thought to add that it wouldn't have mattered if he was armed or not, it's still utterly wrong to place the blame for such a crime on the person who experienced it, but I suppose I was too annoyed at the time to think straight.

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Scattymaddy

I complained about being sexually harassed by a trainer at my gym to a friend of mine who knows I was raped.

He said "You have a habit of getting yourself into these situations, don't you?"

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Scattymaddy

Oh!  And there is one more.

This is the worst thing I think ANYONE has ever said to me.  For a while, I was still totally blaming myself for everything that had happened.  I didn't realise I'd been *raped* (do I fully realise it now?).  I just thought I was really promiscuous and indiscriminately sleeping with men.  I posted my concerns on a message board.  One stupid b*tch wrote back and said:

"What you should do is start charging for it. That way even if you still won't be enjoying it "the last two guys pressured me into sex, I really didn't want to sleep with them" - , you'll be able to make some extra cash for yourself. Coz the way you're acting now, you're just giving it away for free, lovee!"

Can you believe that?  I was so upset, I felt like killing myself.

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lightrabbit

Okay, it's been a long time for most of these...amazing what the mind holds on to.

Two days after the r*pe, my then-fiance, now ex-husband woke me with sex. I froze and it happened. His comment: Wow.  I wasn't sure you'd be able to do that.

I guess he didn't notice the tears.

After telling my sister what happened and asking her not to say anything until I was ready to do it myself: You don't realize what hell you're putting me through.  I have no where to turn.

My ex-husband when asked to come to t with me: Why? It's your problem, not mine.

When I told my current husband that his showing up at my work at odd (and very late) hours made me feel stalked, and that he was bringing up bad memories for me when he hugged or kissed me before I was awake (initiating startle response): It's only because I care.

Totally unrelated, but stupid just the same:

My ex-husband, when I was released from the emergency room after having a miscarriage: Can you drive? It's been a long night and I'm tired.

Some people just don't get it.  

lightrabbit

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after a suicide attempt i was made to see a psychologist. i was fidgeting with a pen and he said to me "If you don't put the pen down i will kill you" ( Inever knew they helped u die!)

i was on a placement and part of it was teaching sexual health, HIV/AIDS, gender issues and safety. Someone told me that you cant talk about rape or sex if you have experienced it.

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My sis just said today (during an awful screaming match on the phone) that I have simply "re-encoded" what happened to me, because I felt guilty for having sex with the guy. That things didn't happen the way I think they did. (HELLO?!? WTF?)

She said if it really was r*pe that I should have called out to someone at the cottage. AND, that I should just let it go.

Gee, thanks for makin' that clear. --ANGRY!--

I swore a bit then hung up.

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p>My husband's mother: "Isn't it time you stopped living in the past and found something better to do? ....

My sis and mom shared that same wisdom with me. "You'll never start to feel any better if you live in the past. Just let it go."

Why didn't **I** think of that?!  :angry:  :angry:  :angry:

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Well, I'm guilty of saying something stupid to a friend of mine a long time ago. We were driving along when she revealed that a guy she thought was cute had forced himself on her. She was obviously shooken up about it [this was before I was raped]. Anyway, my response was, "Was it at least any good?" She was stunned and didn't respond to me. It's as if karma came back at me when I got r@ped. I wished I hadn't said that.
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Guest atari

this seems like nothing compared to the things that have been said to the rest of you, but it was really weird to hear...

when I was in the police station right after it happened, a few of my family members asked "why didn't you beat him up?"

the next night my dad took it upon himself to teach me self-defense

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Biting Diamonds

These are from a former boyfriend of mine:

"It's been over a year..."

"Yeah, well, maybe you shouldn't be such a tease..."

( apartently, that was intended to be a joke and was suposed to cheer me up...  ??? )

This one is my favorite:

"I love you and all, but we just need a break... Get back to me when you've gotten over all this..."   :oo:  :glare:  **He attempts to kiss me... I sucker punch him in the gut while throwing a few obscenities in his direction**

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This is the most hurtful one. I was talking to this guy and he said he wanted to help 'people like you'. Like rape defines who I am. That pisses me off. I am human.
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  • 2 weeks later...
A Shark's Revenge

This one was so unusual I had to add it.  When I went through the legal system to convict my r*pist, there was this paper I had to fill out saying I have the right to know where he is at all times (after he gets out of prison).  A few years later, and I am thinking of moving.  I want to keep my address current so they know where I am so he can't go there.  Anyway, I had called the Victim Witness office, which is part of the District Attorney's office, to give them my new address.  I spoke to a woman and asked her where he is currently serving time (to see if maybe he was transferred, I had heard the inmates were trying to kill him  :D ).  She says, "What do you want his address for?  You want to write him?"

Yes, b*tch, that is exactly what I want to do.  After I rip his throat out with my fingernails.  I was so stunned I hung up before I heard the address.

And this idiot works with victims everyday. :angry:

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Aharddaysnight

My favorite one was "You mean you're still not over it? But that was almost 20 years ago"

And then " Were you a rape victim cause your kinda touchy about it" (this was a so-called "woman" trashing another woman claiming to have been raped who I was defending)

To which I replied "Are you a dog? cause you're such a bitch!"

Anyway we all have people that say really stupid stuff to us. Weather they mean well or not it still hurts and it's important for us to remember that and not ever try to take away or minimize what someone else has been through right? Rape or not.

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Guest TeddyBearAngel

My worst comment came from my own mother (who doesn't know by the way). I was going out to meet my boyfriend. I was dressed really nicely and feeling very beautiful and confident which is extremely rare for me to feel. And as I walked out the door she says "Are you going dressed like that?" and I said "Yes.Why?" She says "Cuz you look like a slut. That's how little girls end up raped you know".

And my good day was ruined and I spent the rest of the night crying in my boyfriends arms. I couldn't respond to her I was too shocked. It sounded like she was implying that anyone who is raped was just asking for it. WTF?!?

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Hi everyone.. I'm new and nervous... I wanted to share a stupid comment that I received that has stayed with me forever. I was CSA at age 8-9 and never told anyone until I told my best friend at 18. She seemed very caring about me and understood my intense fear of sexuality. She always told me she wanted to be the third to know when I had sex for the first time. I met my husband as a freshman in college and after 3 months, I finally felt safe enough with him to take the plunge. When I told my friend, her comment was "welcome to the world of serious sin..." This crushed me as I was already dealing with blaming myself for the SA. I have never forgotten that (and it's been 21 years!!!) Thanks for letting me share. I'm glad I found you guys... Hugs, Kristi
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One of many stupid comments to me was about a year or two afterwards:  One of my best friends and her fiance who were very religious told me that it was a sin for me to talk about it or to be afraid of it happening again because that meant that I didn't have enough faith in god.  He told me I was forbidden to discuss it with her anymore.

{begin sarcasm} Oh, I understand!  It only happens to people who don't trust god.  Well, that's good.  Then it won't ever happen to you! {end sarcasm}

Our friendship ended not too long afterwards.

survivor

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"you should have talked to him the next day so he'd have had a chance to apologise"

"well you've destroyed his life with this too"

"this isn't always about you, i can't deal with this! i've had a nice life so i'm not used to it"

"are you sure it wasn't a misunderstanding?"

"you put too much faith in your own memory of events"

.......but the classic of all time (said as i was having a panic attack/flash back)........

"if you keep busy enough you just won't think about it and you'll get over it in no time!"

ty for this thread. it's been great to get this of my chest.

xx

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I was talking to a friend awhile ago, can't remember exactly what the conversation was, but it was something about r*pe. She said "guys know better than to try that shit with me. If they did, one of us would end up dead, because that's the only way he'd get away with it."  

uh huh.

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This wasn't said to me, I heard someone say it, but it has stayed with me for the longest time.

"Rape is an experience I don't need to have."

Like she was so much better then anyone who's ever been raped, and like we ask for it or something. I hate people like that  :angry: lol.

~Olivia~

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Snickles4,

I had that said to me too:   "guys know better than to try that shit with me. If they did, one of us would end up dead, because that's the only way he'd get away with it."  

It makes me so angry.  I just want to say to those people, "try it sometime and see how things are in reality and how you REALLY react!"  

survivor

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To which I replied "Are you a dog? cause you're such a bitch!"

Perfect  :yay:  I couldn't have said it better, unless you slapped this person with the key ring with the 10 stupidest r* misconceptions on it.

My all time favourite is from my grandfather. He looks so sweet and nice who would have ever known he'd say:

"you've ruined my life"

after the family found out about the abuse.

Yeah, good one grandpa. It was all my fault  :oo: I just went out there and asked to be abused?? :glare:

@sharks revenge: I seem to stumble upon idiots like that too.. Who hires these people?

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When I woke up the morning after, my roommate told me to just forget about it, write it off as a bad dream. Sad part is that that's what she had done a month beforehand when she was raped. It hasn't helped her. Whenever i'm down, she stills just replies that things could be worse.
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Many years ago I told a friend of mine.  Her response?  "One of my friends told me she was raped and she said it wasn't that bad."

In reply I said something like, "Well, it was pretty bad".  Nothing more was said about the topic.

survivor

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  • 3 weeks later...
Aharddaysnight
I've gotten the "things could have been worse" line myself a few times. "He could have killed you" Gee, why didn't I think of that. What they don't realise is sometimes I wished he had.
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