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Guest Lea92

I am amazed at what friends and family say when confided in. 

"How can it be rape if you don't remember?"

"It's not rape if you if you are unconscious can't say no."

"Do you count him when adding up the number of guys you slept with ?"

One counsellor told me people say stupid and hurtful things because they are uneducated and didn't understand.  To me it is common sense.  You don't need to be educated in how to deal with abuse and rape victims to have compassion. 

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Moose_Muffin

Tonight my mother was talking to myself and my friend, who is currently trying to get out of an abusive relationship. While talking about abuse (which I suppose you could say all three of us are survivors of), my mother made a comment that some man she dated after my abusive father was honest and told her about how he would beat his wife and do drugs. My mother thought it wasn't a good idea to see him anymore because it's a personality conflict. Personality conflict? No! Nothing you did made you responsible for your ex husband beating you. Not a personality clash. Nothing. So later in the conversation as I am trying to explain how her words put blame on her I pose the question to her, what did I do wrong to deserve to be called a whore? She basically told me that because I didn't leave after he called me a whore once meant that it is my fault anything else to come. Sooooo him taking advantage of me sexually. Him choking me. Him continually calling me names and such. That was all my fault. Nice. 

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Moose_Muffin

My friend who is out of her abuaive realtionship now said to me the other night that she doesn't want to be like me. She doesn't want to think about her abusive ex for years. As if there's something wrong with me.....that's super hurtful.....my friend doesn't even know all of what he did. I have never told any one of my friends because as you can see they are not safe. I don't want to compare abuse but she didn't and hasn't dealt with the same degree of physical violence and violation as I have. 

 

Really i am hoping by posting it here I can forget about her comment and just not add it to my list of things wrong with me. 

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Guest storm01

After sharing a few poems about my assault with my family, my younger cousin said “hahaha remember when that guy touched you” and I was just shocked. I replied telling him that it was a serious issue and not something to joke about, to which he replied “yeah but it wasn’t that serious and it happened a long time ago”. Sometimes I just wish I can punch people in the face. 

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Anonymous.

I disclosed my childhood abuse and rape to an older guy.  

One day he asked "so what do you think is worse,  having gone through Auschwitz or your childhood?" 

...

Dafuq man.  I just said "I don't have answer for that" 

Seriously,  why would you ask that? 

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EsperanzaRising

“G*d told me that it’s your job to make things right between him and your mom and you can be a family again” school friend said that

“Was it r*pe or was it just m*lesting?” My T said that while I was at a children’s home

“He must have had multiple personalities “ whether he did or did not have DID that doesn’t excuse abusive and shitty behavior. His abuse gave me DID. We know not to be what he is

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lesolitaire

I can't remember if I've posted this before, but when I tried to tell a friend/mentor figure that I had been abducted, she told me I "shouldn't get in cars with strange men." Wtf. That's not what happened at all.

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free2speak

My therapist told me that "scrappier girls" (like she had been, of course!) didn't have to worry so much about getting victimized.  Yeah, this asinine therapist definitely got me in touch with my anger!  If a therapist said that to me now, I'd reply, "I don't think this is going to work out" and stop therapy with that individual instantly.  To imply blame at a CSA therapy site is inexcusable.

Edited by free2speak
I wanted to clarify a little

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