Starlight Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 (edited) Thank you MissE. People don't get it unless they've been through it. I heard someone say I've through worse than you. I feel like saying how do you know since you haven't experienced What I have. I'm so sorry you had those nasty barbs said to you as well. Jeremiah 29:11 is one of My favorite scriptures. Edited April 20, 2015 by Colleen Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bean3 Posted April 20, 2015 Share Posted April 20, 2015 In relation to a high profile figure being discovered to have engaged in a life time of child sexual abuse within multiple trusted public organisations independently and in paedophile rings etc. (on a discussion on line in a reply to my own post about the level of secrecy involved to cover up something so massive): "It can't have happened because there's no concrete evidence that anything did".....!!!!! I mean, really??????????? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
deepsadness Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Your not over this yet, when are you gonna stop playing the victim role? 2.well what did you do to make them do that? 3.well it just r@$!,not like your dead"! 4.your lying , it had to be a joke. Sorry I gotta stop thier. These response are why it so hard to share Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sarahvnon Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Your not over this yet, when are you gonna stop playing the victim role? 2.well what did you do to make them do that? 3.well it just r@$!,not like your dead"! 4.your lying , it had to be a joke. Sorry I gotta stop thier. These response are why it so hard to share i understand that. A single stupid comment made me clam up for years. People have no clue how damaging their words can be. Thank the Lord for pandy's, I've never once gotten that kind of response here. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lannie Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 "He only R**ed you once. You 'let' him R you again and again in your mind." Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondie2002 Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Wow, that's stupid. I'm so sorry. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight Posted April 21, 2015 Share Posted April 21, 2015 Creeps. They are all a bunch of uneducated creeps. No wonder no one feels safe coming out into the open. Some massive education needs to be going on. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RachelJ Posted May 5, 2015 Share Posted May 5, 2015 "Do you really need to keep talking and thinking about it though? It's making you worse. The best thing you can do is forget it ever happened. I don't know what else I can say. It was a long time ago so it shouldn't still be such a big deal for you now" This is what my friend said to me yesterday. She is the only person I've really tried to talk to about it in real life so now I feel like I've lost her support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scorpio126 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 "That's not what we're here to discuss/not worth talking about" - the only therapist I ever tried to open up to "You need to get over it" "Grow up" "You're just seeking attention/want to be special" - various people when I mentioned I was sex repulsed Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kathryn2314 Posted May 13, 2015 Share Posted May 13, 2015 As a gay woman I'm ALWAYS getting asked if that's why I'm gay. Way to dehumanize me. I am no longer the woman who has worked her a$$ off to get to where she is. I have just been relegated to somewhere between a tragic, cheesy 80s, after school special and the worst statistical theory I have EVER heard. I use to tell people "no. I was raped by women as well", until some guy said;"Well, you musti've liked that part". Now, if they're huge idiots (I've also been asked by doctors, nurses, and Ts) I will spell it out for them. If that made you gay, then the world should be swimming in lesbians, and I should actually be bisexual. There is also an underlining thought, where what they're really asking me is if the perverts made me a pervert too. These are the same people who, after finding out that I am gay will share every dirty deed or thought they've ever done or had. It took me a while to figure out why people were telling me that stuff. I was physically ill when I realized it was because they equated me being gay with being "dirty" like them. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
SJ123 Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I would never let that happen to me. You're fine! It wasn't really rape. It was just very rough sex and you weren't ready for it. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seagrits Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 And this one from my wife no less than 30 minutes ago...."sometimes life isn't fair and so we take it one day at a time". The latter I do agree with, but by George life should be fair. It should be beautiful, meaningful. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArielM Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 I've never seen those two statements linked that way before, I don't understand the connection. We take things one day at a time, when we are struggling, but then that's all we can ever do, take one day at a time, right? seeing as how we haven't discovered time travel yet...except, of course, when the past is haunting us...I have a friend with a sign in her kitchen that says, "I try to take one day at a time, but sometimes several days attack me at once." My boyfriend used a great one yesterday, it's a favorite of his: "well, it is what it is." This in response to my struggles with a really unfair situation in my life. I don't really see the value of this one, either. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
seagrits Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 Thanks ArialM. I'm not as crazy as I thought.... :-) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
weefeemcdee Posted May 26, 2015 Share Posted May 26, 2015 My sister made a stupid comment after me telling her that our dad abused me as child and that I have now made a statement to the police reporting him. She then said to me 'I want to stay neutral. I want to be there for you but also for him' Grrrr, what kinda thing is that to say?! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Irish Posted August 10, 2015 Share Posted August 10, 2015 If it happens again just fight back. Oh We're you drinking? Why didn't you scream for help? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Harley* Posted August 11, 2015 Share Posted August 11, 2015 you should be better by now (as in healed and over it) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cherline Posted August 30, 2015 Share Posted August 30, 2015 It's awesome when people desperately try to identify with being a survivor when nothing comes even close to it. A friend of mine to whom I disclosed about being a survivor, a few years back, advised me to take my time to heal before dating again, and that she knows how that feels because her boyfriend broke up with her and she suffered a lot from that. Not even close. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oranged_juice Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I told my best friend a couple weeks ago what had happened to me. The first thing out of her mouth after I finished was, "Well maybe this wouldn't have happened if you had just waited to have sex instead." I very carefully explained through gritted teeth that that's not how it works when someone you're supposed to be able to trust violates your space and boundaries on that level and she just kind of went, "Oh."She is a survivor of similar abuse in her childhood, and even before this happened I did my best to be positive and supportive when I couldn't possibly understand the depth of that pain. After years of her confiding in me and never blaming her for what she went through, it feels like a slap in the face. I try to bring it up, and she completely ignores it. It's been very bizarre and upsetting. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ArielM Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 I will NEVER understand your friend's way of thinking....I have known other abuse survivors who react to disclosures this way. Don't get it, at all. Not sure if I even want to try... Welcome to Pandys!! BTW I LOVE your signature quote. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
blondie2002 Posted September 13, 2015 Share Posted September 13, 2015 Wow. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
oranged_juice Posted September 15, 2015 Share Posted September 15, 2015 I will NEVER understand your friend's way of thinking....I have known other abuse survivors who react to disclosures this way. Don't get it, at all. Not sure if I even want to try... Welcome to Pandys!! BTW I LOVE your signature quote. Thank you! It's probably my favorite quote of all time. I think a lot of it is that, until a few years ago when we became friends, she never felt like she could confide in anyone about what happened to her, so by the time we first met this was at least ten years of internalizing CSA. She's afraid her parents will find out and feel guilty about it and blames herself for what happened. She's coping better than she was this time six years ago, so I'm glad for that at least. It's been incredibly frustrating, but I guess I'm glad I understand why she reacted that way and know not to pressure her for support. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hellothere Posted September 16, 2015 Share Posted September 16, 2015 (edited) Actual comment on internet on how to view the SA peepuls who r now more carfulls about who they deel with: "We should respect people who have been raped, they might not be wright, but it may be their way to express their pain and suffering. Those who know better must educate others, I agree, but do not see these people as enemies but as victims." Duhhh. God save me from running into this well meaning Einstein IRL, they might kill me with their stoopid kindness. Edited October 9, 2015 by Hellothere Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
8888 Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 "Priests don't r*pe people because God would never let that happen." Read this on an online message board (not here). Glad they didn't know I was a survivor of abuse by a priest, as I don't need anyone telling me it didn't happen. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Starlight Posted October 30, 2015 Share Posted October 30, 2015 (edited) I've been staying away from my parents because of past history. My older brother keeps calling and asking me to go up because I'm needed. He knows what they did to me. His zinger: "well dad's in a nursing home, you won't have see him, what he did was a long time ago and since he has dementia, he won't remember anyway." He kind of forgot that I remember everything. Edited October 31, 2015 by Starlight Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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