Katy

Why do I have to meet certain requirements before I can access chat?

62 posts in this topic

We are often asked why chatters must be members of Pandy's for one week, make ten posts, and then request access to the chat room before being allowed to chat, so I'd like to post and pin this so it's accessible.

We understand that new members may be frustrated that they need to post ten times on the board, be a member for a week, and then request access to the chat room before they can chat. When you're looking for help right away, it can seem like a horrible burden. However, the goal of the policy is safety so we hope you can understand why it's needed. In order to access chat, you can post anywhere on the board - you need not post your story, or details of what happened, or anything personal at all. We hope that you'll introduce yourself in the Introductions forum, but even that is up to you.

Why do we have this policy?

First of all, we think the environment here at Pandy's is very special. We promote an atmosphere where each member is gently encouraged to take responsibility for his or her own healing path while respecting and learning from the paths that others are choosing. We would like members to spend a week here getting to know Pandy's and the climate we cultivate before going into chat, which is a very fast paced real-time environment.

We hope that the ten posts/one week policy is not viewed as a block to reaching out. On the contrary, the message board itself is available from the moment your registration is approved and you are encouraged and welcomed to introduce yourself, ask for support, and reach out by posting on the board (if you are unsure how to do so, please check out the Posting Tutorial). Additionally, the Resources forum offers hundreds of ways to reach out to get real-life, professional support.

Second, chat varies from the board in a couple of significant ways. The chat room is a real-time environment, where conversation occurs (and changes direction) quickly. If a person registers on the board solely to make trouble or hurt others, consequences are typically much harder to handle in chat than on the the board. Most chatters will tell you that, for example, a person in crisis affects others more emotionally in chat than in posts on the board.

Additionally, because close friendships are made in chat and very sensitive discussions take place, members appreciate the ability to check out a newcomer's profile and posts to get to know them a little bit before opening up so much.

Finally, we would like to give new members time to familiarize him or herself with the chat rules. We made the chat room accessible by-request only so we could be sure that each chatter had familiarized him or herself with the rules and had committed, in writing, to follow them. Hopefully new members take the time between their week of membership and making ten posts to read the chat forum so they understand how our chat room works.

We hope that all makes sense. This policy isn't to prevent people from reaching out, but rather to protect the safety of members, which is a primary concern for us.

Take care, and we hope to see you in chat soon!

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I think it's fantastic that you have set rules for chatting. I know the first night I logged on I was frustrated because all I wanted to do was talk to someone. I was frantic, feeling all these different emotions and being so scared, I was getting upset because I couldn't log onto the chat. The paniced and confused state I was in, I wouldn't have made much sense. I now realize that the rules you have set are for the benifit of all members. I feel alot safer knowing that not just anyone can join in whenever. Thank you

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Thank you Toyva :)

We have spent a lot of time and effort trying to get the guidelines right for the message boards and the chat rooms, and it is really great to hear when someone appreciates the reasons they are there.

Katy x

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I was raised in a strict home, and I find rules and guidelines a sign that people are taking this place seriously, not out of duty, but out of love. Thank you for taking such great lengths to keep us all safe and healthy as we heal <3

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I think these rules make sense. I actually like knowing that the community has some ways to discourage people from joining just to cause trouble or what-have-you.

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I'm glad becduse it makesvme feel safer, which id exactly what I need right now. Baby steps.

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Thank you Anna :)

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Thanks Anna we really do try to keep both the board and the chat room as safe as possible. I think all of us make huge progress by taking baby steps esp at first

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How do I get into chat? There's a featured chat on the 31st that I think would benefit me. But I'm not sure how to get in. Do I need a password?

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How do I get into chat? There's a featured chat on the 31st that I think would benefit me. But I'm not sure how to get in. Do I need a password?

Please see this threadfor information on how to access the chat rooms. :)

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Once you have read the thread lyndsie posted the link to above just send one of the board mods, lyndsie or myself a PM answering questions 1 and 2 and agreeing to EACH of the chat guidelines 3-6

1) The date that you joined Pandy's.

2) The number of posts you have made.

3) That you have read and understood the chat room guidelines.

4) That you agree not to use the chat PM system unless its to talk directly to a chat moderator.

5) That you will remain respectful of all members and Pandy's staff members.

6. That you agree not to enter the chat room whilst you are "in crisis" which we define as being actively suicidal, actively self-harming or threatening to self-harm, in need of medical attention, or in need of police assistance.

We will then give you access to the chat room which means you can attend any Topic chat or just go int to chat anytime of the day or night. The only time you will need a password is if it's a guest speaker chat or a special TC in those cases it will be posted on the board you need a password. Hope that helps. Any questions let us know

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That makes sense sense.

Kristgen

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At first I was very discourage because I have to wait. Then I realized it a rule that must be follow for a reason. So that just give me the incentive in a week from now to use this forum for my benefit until I am able to chat. So I thank you for this rule.

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Hi Iykagome,

Welcome to Pandy's :) I'm glad that this rule makes sense to you and that you are out there posting on the board and getting to know the place. Truthfully, I believe the chat room is a much more supportive and close-knit place now that we have this rule in place and ask people to familiarise themselves with the board, each other, and the atmosphere we cultivate at Pandy's before they get into the chat room. It's worth the wait :)

Take care,

Kate

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:) yes it does.

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Sound, reasons, gives a feeling 'this is my place'

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Hi stevethedingo,

Thank you! We've worked hard to make the board ans chat rooms as safe as possible and they both should feel a bit like "this is my place".

Take care,

Susan

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I was able to chat. Not sure why i cant now.

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it could just be a glitch or you might need to upgrade java

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I like the rules and I am more than willing to comply, but I am afraid the mods will think I need medical attention immediately and all the time...

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Hi RHurt,

Why would we think that hon? If you don't want to reply here you can send me a message. :)

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Hi RHurt,

Why would we think that hon? If you don't want to reply here you can send me a message. :)/>

Well basically because I do need medical attention, but because of my situation I am unable to obtain it

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Earlier tonight I tried to do Online HelpLine on RAINN and they basically said your problems are not suitable for our capabilities and referred me to get psychiatric and/or medical assistance, then they shut the chat down. The problem with that one is that if you are gender dysphoric or even questioning of gender identity, under the rules I live and work under they will process you out and you lose your benefits. I have about one year to go to make my 20 active years and I cannot out myself to medical professionals. I have sought free anonymous support but getting shut out by a group like RAINN really hurts.

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As long as you aren't seeking medical advice and aren't in need of immediate emergency care then you are more than welcome to use chat. It's just that no one here is trained to offer such medical advice and it's impossible to give care through the computer.

Hopefully that helps a little

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That does, I wouldn't be seeking medical advice and not in need of an emergency. I would be asking more questions about how others would perceive a transwoman etc. Since I have not actually begun any transition, more in the planning stages, I would want to talk (chat) with other people to get an idea of what life will be like during and after the transition. I would welcome any advice from those who have done such or know about transition from MTF perspective. Even XX females that are on HRT I would like to know how it feels more than advice on dosage specific prescriptions etc,,,

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