Anybody else have weird triggers?


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Wow ... not sure there's enough room here for them all. Fortunately, others have shared some already.

Smiles, from either male or female, especially if accompanied by their projecting a feeling of "I like you." I'd rather people, especially men, not say they like or want to get to know me either. It's easier from someone I know, extremely unsettling if someone I don't know. It can't be entirely avoided though, since I'm likeable in certain contexts, so I deal with it.... usually by avoiding in person interactions with male-bodied people and interacting mostly online.

grocery shopping: at times can become overwhelmed by the choices. OMG! What brand of beans!!!!!!? I've literally walked out of stores, getting nothing, because I couldn't choose the "right" one.

If someone gets enthusiastic about something I said/did or might do. Similar to "liking", only I also feel extra expectations imposed upon me. Oh, and for that matter, any expectations (actual or perceived) imposed on me. Anyone "depending" on me, especially if they are emotionally attached to my being, saying, doing what they want, and most especially when I'm in a down space. But anyone saying they need or miss me can put me in a down space almost instantly. If their expression seems emphatic or urgent, I freak. I can't rely on myself!

Oh, and more with frustration than fear, tho both involved depending: vague language ... about anything.

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on my road trip, i got triggered everytime i saw a motorcycle.  ugh.  so i thought, ok, maybe i should do a posting about current triggers that im dealing with, and maybe others would like to record t

^ I tried to become as un-feminine as I could. I buzzed my hair off, wore unisex clothes and restricted my eating to look less curvy. So I can relate to being scared of looking conventionally attracti

The sound of a bath being filled. Doctors offices Male B.O. home videos Eskimo kisses. There is something very brave about sharing triggers. I have related to SO much of what

The most recent trigger was a meditation class. Supposed to be just a simple mindfulness meditation focussing on awareness of breath and slow breathing (all of which I usually find ok) but led by someone fairly new to teaching who decided to spice up the class by introducing stuff from her personal practice without knowing how to teach it properly (ie it's usually part of a yoga practice not stand-alone meditation) or the potential adverse effects.

She had us do some rapid breathing exercises in time with her saying a mantra, and some of the students were also using an audible breath technique (ujjai breathing). It sounded and felt horribly sexual and I became extremely anxious and afraid and claustrophobic - it felt as everyone was really close to me and breathing right in my ear or as if I were surrounded by wild animals about to attack me. I started crying and it took hours to calm down afterwards. I wasn't certain if it was just hyperventilation symptoms like anyone might get, or a flashback, and when I talked to her about it a couple of days later she had no idea that the technique might cause problems. Yet when I googled it I found that this sort of breath exercise is known to induce panic attacks and flashbacks in some people, and it's specifically not recommended if you have PTSD.

Overall the studio is pretty good and I'm getting a lot of benefit from yoga and meditation (I'm currently also doing an MBSR course), but it pisses me off that this is the second time they've done something inappropriate that's been a major trigger. The other one was last year, again in a meditation class, when the teacher (who was also an experienced counsellor who should damned well know better) went around adjusting people's position after they'd already lain down, got comfortable and shut their eyes. Apparently she thought I looked tense and my shoulders were scrunched up, so she gently pressed my shoulders down to the floor without saying a word. One of my rapes started when I was asleep, so it's not surprising that this completely freaked me out, or that just like during the rape I completely froze and couldn't do or say anything, but to make it extra confusing I had not actually remembered my rape when all this happened - that did not happen until some months later.

23 June - update to this is that I've had to stop meditating altogether because of severe triggering including on the MBSR course. Details here http://pandys.org/forums/index.php?showtopic=283440&p=2433613

Edited by zaracat
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I'm so glad to see this topic. I was sexually abused for 4 years starting when I was 9. My mother must have known, it was her brother, my uncle that babysat us when my parents went out. My mother is a Narcissist which offers me plenty of PTSD just from her being my mother.

It is almost like she is the bigger abuser than my Uncle. Whenever I am lied to, ignored, supposed to handle more than I should have to without help or instruction, I am hugely triggered.

I had a new second part-time job where one of the women behaved in exactly the way I described my mother above. I quit the job after being reprimanded for trying to clarify one of my duties. I am struggling to feel that I deserve to be spoken to with respect. I can't believe it when I hear people speak to me or other coworkers with no respect, patience or regard for being professional. These seem to be my biggest triggers. It all comes back to my mother not being a mother, not paying attention, being rude, not helping.

I have nightmares. It's always an impossible situation that I will never be able to handle all the work or situation that I am supposed to handle, and there is no help for me!

Thanks for listening. Anyone have any ideas or help?

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  • 4 weeks later...

Loud or weird men

Bathrooms, Sounds from bathrooms

Kitchen sounds (plates, pans, etc)

People

Getting touched in certain places

Queues

Future mother-in-law

Cars making sounds outside my house

3am-3.25am

Family meals, events etc etc

Alot of weird things on TV

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  • 2 weeks later...

People , in general. A man bcz he can remind me of my father -brother, a woman cause i am thinking all those nasty things my mother told me , the way she accussed me when i was child, even kids bcz at them i see my own self as kid and it makes me feel angry, sad and many things.

Kissed and touches. I cannot stand a hug even if i am the one i asked for cause it reminds me awful things.

The smell of alcohol and cigaretes.

Places in which abuse took place.

Moustaches or small beards. Even if it sounds odd.

People staring me .

Rooms with lot's of light or opposite full of darkness.

Teddy bears.

Summer nights.

My parents bedroom. The place i raped first time.

Kinder garden. Firtst time i sexually assaulted.

Loud voices or screams.

Phrases i cannot describe here.

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the sound of a woman walking. I don't know how to explain it. It isn't with sneakers. It's dress shoes and not pumps. Wider heel. Walking with purpose. My stomach drops. It's one I'm having problems with lately. When I'm in a better place mentally. I don't even hear the walking.

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  • 2 weeks later...

every time I take a bath. I would have to look at the door constantly to feel safe.

shows that focus on violation

talking to my brother

new memories

seeing above and beyond the limit of PDA in public

seeing snakes

children at a playground

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enchantmyheart

Triggers? Many. Weird triggers? Only a few.

Triggers:

  • Seeing Facebook posts by my ex-friends who encouraged the hurtful behavior (I had unblocked them in hopes that it would help me let go of resentment and heal, but then old posts kept popping up in my "memories" section, so I blocked them again.)
  • Being in a bar alone.
  • Beginning a new relationship
  • Opening up to having sex with someone new - this is very scary!
  • Wanting to have sex - Even in my healthy, committed relationship I am in now I won't initiate sex. (I do fine if he initiates, though)
  • During nursing school I had to learn about spotting domestic abuse and reporting it for my OB/GYN course. This was hard to sit through.
  • Being hit on
  • Hearing the names
  • Having friends make sexual jokes about me while I am not there in the room to hear it and retaliate (I'm fine with it when I can defend myself and give it right back to them... but some of them don't understand that there is a huge difference!!!)
  • Hearing certain songs
  • Working with psych patients :(

Weird triggers:

  • Sad TV commercials - I get overly emotional and sometimes burst into tears
  • Magic The Gathering (And this one is one of my WORST triggers, too)
  • Men with hair dyed black
  • Hearing the words "How are you?" (Sometimes, not always...)
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Someone touching me (mainly guys) or someone touching my hair. Guys who look similar to the guy who raped me. People invading my personal space. Crowds

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  • 6 months later...
On 6/1/2016 at 3:55 PM, Loridale said:

I'm so glad to see this topic. I was sexually abused for 4 years starting when I was 9. My mother must have known, it was her brother, my uncle that babysat us when my parents went out. My mother is a Narcissist which offers me plenty of PTSD just from her being my mother.

It is almost like she is the bigger abuser than my Uncle. Whenever I am lied to, ignored, supposed to handle more than I should have to without help or instruction, I am hugely triggered.

I had a new second part-time job where one of the women behaved in exactly the way I described my mother above. I quit the job after being reprimanded for trying to clarify one of my duties. I am struggling to feel that I deserve to be spoken to with respect. I can't believe it when I hear people speak to me or other coworkers with no respect, patience or regard for being professional. These seem to be my biggest triggers. It all comes back to my mother not being a mother, not paying attention, being rude, not helping.

I have nightmares. It's always an impossible situation that I will never be able to handle all the work or situation that I am supposed to handle, and there is no help for me!

I can so relate!   I was sexually abused from a very early age until about 10 probably - amnesia, But my Narcissist Mom was the bigger abuser. I also have trouble dealing with my triggers around abusive women. and I also use the words: neglect, too much responsibility - as a punishment and distraction, competition from mom. she was so mortified by my dads sex addiction that she became a control freak and blamed me. 

I find myself overcompensating for lack of self worth, like I'm still trying to make it up to my mom and prove my worthiness. I'm so introverted and my mom hated that. I've created an at home business which helps me work the triggers. 

I've been in recovery for a long time.  But this trigger is still so raw. The current manifestation of this is my boyfriends Mother. She has borderline personality disorder, undiagnosed. she thinks it's all my fault that we decided to move away and that he doesn't want to talk to her. She has given me the most harsh words I've ever heard and banished me from ever entering her house. I feel her psychic attack all the time. I would really like to solve this problem inside myself this year. Making a goal/intention. Thanks for sharing. the other day a woman on the phone was very very grumpy and short with me, I got so triggered on fear. I think my Mother wanted me to die, so my body reacts with extreme terror. I'm working on having compassion for that trigger and help resolve it step by step. 

 

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  • 2 weeks later...

The sound of a bath being filled.

Doctors offices

Male B.O.

home videos

Eskimo kisses.

There is something very brave about sharing triggers. I have related to SO much of what I've read, same obscure triggers. There is power in naming.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Lately a certain way my friend/adopted mom moves her hands.sometimes if she plays with my hair. For some reason she triggers me a lot.But I don't say anything I don't want her to be afraid of every move she makes around me. Hearing the word rape, any talk of sexual abuse, seeing movies with sexual abuse or rape. Motorcycle for me too.some dogs, rooms that lock a certain way.smell of beer,smell of skoal/dip.I am sure there are others I can't think of right now.oh someone opening the door to the room i am sleeping in.

Edited by Lovesong
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I can't say I have any triggers, other than an unresponsive partner. Ok, maybe Justin, but not so much of a trigger as just get this spoiled brat outta my face! However, weird is a relative term, and I really don't think any trigger is weird. Uncommon, yes, but not weird. The only "weird" thing is the perp themselves. They are the ones that are twisted, and it only makes sense to me that anything associated with the event can be a trigger; hair color, refrigerator, ceiling fan, medicine bottle, knee brace, lipstick color, etc.

If anything should be a trigger for me it would be cash registers. IT was payment for teaching me how to run a cash register.

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Bunch of "normal" ones (like men who resmble my rapists), but some weird ones too:

Bicycles used by post delivery persons.

A certain brand of lotion.

Chicken breasts at a grocery store, the words "chicken breast", especially "sliced -"-".

2 bus lines (even looking at the numbers of those lines disturbs me and riding them is a nightmare).

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I react to so many things and they don't often make sense.  I think that is why I don't like being around large groups of people.  I try to desensitize myself before going out so that I have calmed myself and prepared for things that can happen.  If something happens, I try to move away.  If I cant move away, then I just ask myself how I want to handle it.  

Once I left a free art display because the attendant would not stop talking to me even after I indicated I wanted to be alone.  I just left.  

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Gearhead7197

This may seem odd but I hope someone can relate to it. I'm trying to make sense of it..... whenever I lose weight and become more attractive I become terrified that it will attract attention to me. I have lost and gained the same weight so many times I can't count. Last week I found myself eating an entire box of donuts desperately trying to gain back the 13 pounds I lost as if that insulation of fat will keep me safe and out of the probing eyes of victimizers.my rapist made mention of my healthy physique in a very twisted way and I wasn't able to gain my footing again. Remaining unattractive feels safe.

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^ I tried to become as un-feminine as I could. I buzzed my hair off, wore unisex clothes and restricted my eating to look less curvy. So I can relate to being scared of looking conventionally attractive even though our methods were different.

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  • 2 weeks later...

My childhood abuser took his own life, so that's a big one.

When people nibble/nom on a kid's neck.

Bill Murray (he looks similar and has a similar personality).

Otherwise just the standard stuff. 

Edited by Smash
I'm uncomfortable sharing the biggest, most irrational one 'publicly', so I removed it.
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  • 1 month later...
Mamachameleon

Certain certain phrases: "have a cup of coffee"... "have your cake and eat it too"... "puppet master"... 

Certain colognes

Open spaces

Crowds

Extended hugging from anyone besides my bf and children

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I have quite a few "strange" triggers. Probably the weirdest trigger for me is the Snowman emoji. Others include: 

  • Older men with the same shape and build as my abuser.
  • Mustaches, my abuser has one.
  • Neon green and hot pink; my abuser wore a backpack with these colors CONSTANTLY.
  • Certain words and phrases. 
  • Certain songs (Suicide, Rihanna and Impossible, Shontelle).
  • Certain room in my church where the abuse happened. 
  • Baseball hats. He would frequently wear them.

 

Quote

I feel like I drowned in your every word...

~Rihanna, Suicide

 

 

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  • 1 month later...
Guest Glitterandcupcakes

Upstairs bedrooms

Open closet doors actually any open door

Rape or sex scenes I have visual flashbacks with this.

Man who look like him

Being surrounded.

Attics, basements, strangers.

 

Hugs I hate hugs and being tickled.

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