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Finding our voices?

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#16 Cira

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Posted 13 November 2003 - 09:07 PM

I am frightened of disagreeing openly with people...I don't want them to feel attacked, and I don't want to be attacked back myself. As well, some people are so much more articulate and able to define their reasons for believing what they do than I am (Emma and Lis for two),  that I feel that my opinion, now matter how strongly felt, will just sound vague and ridiculous by comparison - and will be less valid. My fear makes me wishy-washy.

Ironic reply considering the post to which I'm replying, but -- Yes, yes, yes, and yes.  Me, too.  You summed up so much of the way I feel, Lou.

And Jes -- Your second post in this thread (especially the part about what kind of respect you feel you deserve when you speak out) hit home as well...seems to be an on-going pattern with you these days. :;):



#17 Stef

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Posted 10 June 2004 - 06:57 AM

Hi all :)

I have to admit I haven't read most of the replies to this thread, b/c how ironic, I thought that once I read the eloquent words the others have found to express themselves, what I have to say seems too ridiculous to even mention.

I do, however, want to share something, especially for Lou and Jes, b/c I could not believe it when I read that you are sometimes afraid that your words might not be heard.

We had a conversation in chat the other day, about how some people's posts and replies to ohters are just perfect. Yup, perfect.

Your names, Jes and Lou, were the first two that were brought up.

The two of you (and many, many others of course), always find the most suitable, eloquent and passionate words to say. Actually, sometimes if one of you ladies has already replied to a thread I'll leave it, b/c there is no way I could ever come close to that perfection.

It drives me nuts sometimes :;):, but it usually awes me.

I am really struggling myself with finding my voice, I know that it is there somewhere and I have proved that by using it. However, I have been rather quiet for a while, b/c it feels like my words are never enough.

I hope you forgive the "pick apart and quote" thing, but a few things I have read mean so much to me.

I almost never came back, because of course I felt about as welcome as a mother-in-law on a honeymoon. Then I exercised my right to complain to the mods, who dealt with it appropriately, being the terrific and fair-minded women they are.

Having experienced something similar recently (and yes I AM sorry for bringing it up yet AGAIN :;):), it helps a little to hear that others have undergone something similar and reacted the same way as I did.
And guess what, Lou, you are one of those incredible women who make sure that this wonderful place stays as safe as it is :)

Does anybody here creep back in here after replying, even kindly, to a thread, and be terrified that you've been given a caning by somebody?.

Lol, I did that the other day when I replied to a thread of yours, Louise, but you haven't bitten my head off yet, so i guess it should be ok. :;):

On posting myself - well I am usually drunk when I do it!  And that is because I find it very hard to share even though I still feel the burning need to do so.  After posting I tend to feel stupid and worry that ppl who read my post will think I am stupid and needy and pathetic

That is exactly how I feel, Steph. I also often post intimate things when I am more than just tipsy, b/c it makes it so much easier. The next day though, I usually regret having posted to an extent that i take my post down.

One more thought that has come to my mind, is that I never had any problems using my voice in real life, but I do here.
I feel like everyone has come so far in healing, while i am still stuck at the border to denial. Isn't it ironic that in the one place where I am encouraged to speak up I feel silenced, while in real life people would do anything to make me shut up? ;)

I could go on and on about this topic, but I don't want to annoy anyone the one time i DO actually use my voice ;)


#18 yassi411

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Posted 28 January 2008 - 02:22 PM

My voices were actually just that... I had 13 of them. Being a survivor and having multiple personality syndrome, I had 13 voices who saved up all my happiness, dreams, anger, guilt, resentment so that in time, I will be able to deal with them when I am ready to do it. It is important to have a voice... abuse and the abuser isolates and silences you and especially your soul. Alice Miller calls it soul murder. My "little ones" never forgot my voice and saved all that I have to say. I thank them for this. Thank you for your time.

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