Posted 17 November 2003 - 08:57 AM
It is so wonderful to see you here again. You have been missed sweetheart.
Again, I am going to answer without reading responses (because I really should be working).
For me, recognizing that I was indeed at some point a victim was actually crucial for me to move forward. You see, for years and years I was minimized and invalidated and therefore did not even realize I was in fact a victim! So, when I started having flashbacks of my attempted rape, I did some research (which eventually led me here to Pandoras) and I found out that what happened to me was a crime! Somehow, I didn't even realize that. So, after 14 years, I officially became a victim.
I needed to be that victim for awhile. To me, it meant that what happened was real, it was a big deal, it mattered etc. I learned a lot of things about what I had gone through, what I had felt, what I was feeling. I started therapy. At that point, I decided that if I was going to do this, I had to leave that temporary status of being a victim and start being a survivor. I didn't realize until recently that I had been that survivor all along.
I know that many many people hate the word victim, don't like to be called a victim etc. For me, it was a necessity. But, it was only a temporary necessity. Once I realized that I was experiencing PTSD, felt the same emotions as so many people here, etc I was able to start the process of moving out of "victimhood". It was really when I started getting the validation I needed that I was able to start moving forward.
Granted, my situation may be different because my experiences were a long time ago. I won't lie and say that issues don't pop up for me now and again but the difference is that I don't go all the way back to where I was almost 2 years ago when I came here. If something new comes up, I may think "well, dammit I thought I was through this" but I don't feel the need to go all the way back to where I was.
Anyway, Rain, I don't know if this had anything to do with what you were asking but it is what came to mind when I read your post.