Posted 17 November 2003 - 11:41 PM
Great thread, Jes. I love this trend of thoughtful, healing posts.
What bad feelings do you experience? Are you dealing with anger, sadness, depression? Can you say why?
A little bit of anger, which is mostly an anger born of the (reasonably new) realization that I'm worth more than the shit that they put me through. Mainly, it's sadness and an occasional touch of depression, though. Sadness at how many people are fighting the same demons I am, and sadness that people treat each other so horribly and hurt each other so much...sadness that some of the most beautiful souls I have had the pleasure of calling my friends (and brothers and sisters in healing) have been hurt more than words can express.
More importantly, what positive attributes and strengths do you bring with you as you cope with your experience? Are you a good communicator? Are you able to simply sit and feel your emotions? Can you ask for help when you need it?
You know, about a year ago, I would've answered this something like, "Strengths? What strengths?" Now, I can see many strengths. I'm determined. I'm stubborn. I keep a pretty positive outlook, even when I'm on one of my 3945349875 rants. Even when I feel the worst, I remain convinced that it gets better. And I have learned to give myself permission to feel whatever I feel and to ask for help when I need it.
In what positive ways do you deal with your emotions? Do you paint, draw, write or talk?
It depends. I talk it out (or post it out) if I can. If I can't, I write. A lot. I write whatever comes out. I listen to music that suits my mood and what I'm feeling and I sing my heart out, caring nothing about how I sound. If I'm angry, I rant...and rant...and rant to someone I trust. Or do something physical.
More than anything, I turn all of my negative emotions into something I can use. They drive me to do things I believe in, like my fundraising projects and to do things that I hope will make some small difference to someone, like my volunteer work, my website or my message board. When I'm hurting or I'm angry about something, I always think, "How can I use this to help someone?"
I love that quote, Jes ~ "Be the change you wish to see in this world." That puts it so well.