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If You Were My Sister or Brother...


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#1 Jackie

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Posted 20 November 2005 - 08:29 PM

Thank you to Elektra for this wonderful idea...

I ripped this from a breast cancer awareness commercial on tv. Survivors, one by one, repeated the phrase,"If you were my sister, I would tell you..." and they would go on to offer some practical advice to those at risk or fighting to survive the nightmare of cancer.

We, as survivors of a different sort, have so much to offer each other. Sometimes few and simple words can hold many answers and much hope. I think it will be nice to have a place to share some general, loving advice. No matter what stage of healing we are experiencing, we are never alone, and there is always someone who could benefit from our simple, yet so complex, realizations. I'll start...

If you were my sister, I would tell you to never give up. What we need to live and thrive is within each and every one of us and, as long as we keep searching, we will find it.

What would you tell your sister or brother?

#2 LemonMeringue

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Posted 20 November 2005 - 09:17 PM

If you were my sister, I would tell you that no matter who hurt you, and no matter what happened, none of it was your fault and that the fastest way to start feeling better is to internalize that you did nothing wrong. I would also tell you that what happened to you defines a time in your life, not you as a person.

Great thread,

LM

#3 janet

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Posted 21 November 2005 - 03:08 AM

If you were my sister, i would tell you that you are such a wonderful and courageous person with nothing but goodness to share with others in the world and i will hold your hand and help you along your healing journey. HE has done wrong, not you!

#4 survivor

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Posted 21 November 2005 - 01:30 PM

If you were my sister I would say that I was so sorry that this happened and that no matter what happened, it wasn't your fault. And don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

Edited by survivor, 21 November 2005 - 01:31 PM.


#5 Cheyenne

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Posted 21 November 2005 - 01:50 PM

If you were my sister, I would tell you that we cannot become what we need to be by remaining what we are. We have all been hurt and, in effect, been changed by that hurt. In time we will all become better people by dealing with the pain and growing from it. You are brave and courageous and you were meant to survive.

Wonderful thread!
~Cheyenne~

#6 MatthewJ123

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Posted 22 November 2005 - 05:18 PM

If you were my sister I'd tell you that you have a strength far beyond what you ever thought you could posess. That you are special, unique and an individual who has great potential. I'd tell you that to survive is one thing, but to live, and thrive, and be great no matter what, is another, and that's what you can do, and are doing in so many ways and you are LOVED!!

mel

#7 raincomedown

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Posted 22 November 2005 - 08:08 PM

If you were my sister (or brother!), I would tell you that I love you and that I think you are a beautiful, lovely, and whole person no matter who hurt you or what they did to you. I would remind you that you're never alone, and I would remind you that you have a whole army of folks fighting on your side, the good side!

Lisa

#8 pixie

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Posted 23 November 2005 - 06:43 PM

this is a beautiful thread....

#9 Tina

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Posted 24 November 2005 - 12:15 PM

If you were my sister.....I would tell you, that I love you for who you are right now...and to me that love will never change, that nothing that you've done in the past will change what I feel for you. And the present, all would be forgiven and forgotten.

As sisters, we are to love one another, and help each other. As a sister you are strong, loving, courageous, and have endured enough in life. You can lean on me in good times and bad, and that I'll always be there for you. Offering support and encouragement, advice, meant with good intentions. Together we can share our feelings and help one another.

As a sister, you are beautiful inside and out, and the inner you...has been untouched. The qualities about you, still make you, you, and that you are special just as you are...for your caring and compassionate ways. And you are not defined by what happened to you. Never.

As my sister, those feelings for you...will never go away...you are apart of heart and soul always. You are never alone...and never will be alone again. I will remind you of all the good and wonderful things about you...always.

As my sister, I love you and that will never change.


Tina

Edited by Cherilee, 24 November 2005 - 12:43 PM.


#10 Martin

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Posted 24 November 2005 - 01:11 PM

If you were my sister (or brother!), I would tell you that I love you and that I think you are a beautiful, lovely, and whole person no matter who hurt you or what they did to you. I would remind you that you're never alone, and I would remind you that you have a whole army of folks fighting on your side, the good side!

Lisa


Thank you so much for the "or brother" part... you have no idea how much that means to me (the rest of the post, too, but I wouldn't have thought that it might apply to me without those two words).

#11 Elektra

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Posted 24 November 2005 - 04:42 PM

You all are amazing! :wub:

((Ty)) Lisa for saying "or brother".
Every word certainly applies to you guys.

If you were my brother or my sister, I would tell you to stay strong, but know that its ok to be weak.

:hug:

#12 trapped tears

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Posted 24 November 2005 - 04:54 PM

If you were my sister (as in my real sister) i would tell you all nasty things! lol

seriously,

if you were my sister i would tell you are a strong and wonderful person who isn't what has happened. that you are brave and courageous for survivng and that you can carry on surviving.

take care all sisters and brothers,

love from Laura xxx

Edited by holly28, 24 November 2005 - 04:55 PM.


#13 Tina

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Posted 24 November 2005 - 05:06 PM

I just wanted to add, (((brothers))) as well.

You are loved and valued just as much...okay?

Love,

Tina

#14 Louise

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Posted 24 November 2005 - 11:49 PM

What a wonderful idea and I've just loved reading the replies.

If you were my sister or brother, I would tell you that it wasn't your fault, assure you that the horrror is finite, and ask how I can nurture and care for you as you recover.

#15 pixie

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Posted 25 November 2005 - 12:05 AM

If you were my sister or brother... I would ask if you wanted a hug. I would tell you that when you see your reflection in my eyes- you are beautiful, pure, undamaged but wronged. You are more than the sum of your body parts and you have rights. I would try to explain why it wasn't your fault even though you may feel unreasonable guilt. I would tell you that everytime someone RE-victimized you it wasn't because they meant to hurt you. That it was the way our society is and not a reflection on you. That they just don't understand rape trauma syndrome. I would try to prepare you for this world, find you a therapist, take you to a counselor and teach you to make a safe place for yourself in your mind where you can go when you need to.

If you were my sister or brother I would love you no matter what.

pixie

Edited by pixie, 25 November 2005 - 12:06 AM.



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