1. Were you silenced by someone? How?
Yes, my father silenced me by telling me it was supposed to be a secret and that if I told, very bad things would happen. So I grew up "knowing" that if you have problems with someone or something, you don't talk about them. You bury them all inside because you don't deserve to be able to express your emotions.
2. Have other, beside the abuser, betrayed you? (In relation to your abuse?)
In relation to my abuse? I'm not sure. I haven't told anyone about it other than a very small amount of people. People have said stupid things about it, at least what happened last summer, like "why didn't you tell anyone then?" and that hurts.
3. Did you "tell" people in a way other then words about your abuse? (anorexia, withdrawing etc)
My entire personality changed when I was a child. I became extremely withdrawn. I hid from everyone and everything I could manage. I also became very depressed and started self-injuring when I was about 9, although I didn't call it that. And now I believe I have some kind of eating disorder, although not positive it's anorexia.
4. "The damage of betrayal is deepening the conviction that relationships can neither be enjoyed, trusted, nor expected to last" Do you agree with that statement? Why or why not?
Yes. It's so hard to trust in any relationships now. Although I think I'm managing all right.
5. How do you see yourself now?
Damaged, fragile...but not broken. Not anymore.
6. Have you begun to tell others about your abuse? What have your experiences been like?
Yes, both on Pandy's and in real life (my best friend, my boyfriend, etc.). For the most part, they've been supportive, with the exception of a few "stupid" kinds of comments.
7. Do you trust others? Do you trust yourself?
I trust only one other person completely and totally. I don't even trust myself as much as I trust my boyfriend. Other people, I trust to varying extents, but not very much usually.