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Premeditation of r*pe?

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#46 Louise

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Posted 18 April 2002 - 12:00 PM

Just wanted to add that I identify two types of premeditation; straightforward plans to commit rape, or planning to commit it if some other agenda isn't met.

It's fucking evil either way

L xxxx

#47 Guest__*

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Posted 24 April 2002 - 03:08 PM

This one still has me thinking...

Laney, believe it or not, when I originally posted this, I also thought of you. I am very interested to hear what you have to say when you are ready.

****possible Trigger***

On another note, when I posted this, I was posting about the attempted rape. But since then I have been giving a lot of thought to the abusive relationship. I believe he KNEW what he was doing and that he had it PLANNED.

We first went on some dates. Fine. We had a nice time. He told me about being separated from his wife waiting for his divorce to become final. A lie. But a lie that he knew would get me to keep seeing him. Next was "I could spend the rest of my life with you" and "I love you". But he also added, "you don't need to say it back" which looking back tells me that he only said it because he knew that I would only sleep with someone I was in love with. So he said it, and we slept together. He knew that it would go this way. He started the verbal abuse first. He then played on my insecurities (he being the more experienced in bed) and guilted me into sex when I didn't want to and he made me THINK I loved him. The last night we had sex, he had the lubricant ready - before then, sometimes we used it sometimes we didn't and it was always put away in between. Why was it there ready to go if he didn't plan on having sex no matter what. He knew he could scare me into having sex.


Thank you for allowing me to get this out.

#48 Louise

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Posted 18 April 2002 - 03:02 PM


Oh, what a capital #######. How calculating and cruel. He takes stock of you and then uses it against you in such a horrible way. Mongrel-breed bastard.


Women are capable of some fuckawful shit, honey....if you were set up by a "friend" that makes it all the more obscene. It would be easy not to want to see something so horrible. I don't know how anyone could be offended or feel anything other than compassion for you.

(((((Shells)))) thanks again for putting out this question, my darling.


Lou xxxxxx

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Posted 24 April 2002 - 06:05 PM

I forget if you people know the whole story. I think I have only posted part of it on my site. My assault was very much thought out. It was five neighbor boys against me. I protected myself from putting together that it was planned for a long time. It was just too hard to fathom that my "friends" could come up with this evil plan. But I will never forget being in therapy and telling her about them coming up to my door. It clicked that this was planned. They had not only come up with this "game" but that they would have to trick me into going to their house. It is sad that anyone could do this to another, let alone plan it. It is horrible. It has profoundly affected my ability to trust, which is completely understandable. I have no idea what causes people to do this, I don't want to know. I just wanted to throw that out there that I understand.

Take care,

#50 Guest__*

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Posted 09 June 2002 - 07:58 PM

I can't remember if I replied before, I don't think I did. I remember wanting to and being unable to.

Until I read this I really never questioned whether or not it was preplanned.  I am going to have to admit that it was premeditated that he was going to try and have sex with me. Forcing me, I just don't know. Although he had previously said to me that I should leave him because he would end up r*ping me.

I really didn't believe him.

#51 Louise

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Posted 27 June 2002 - 02:27 PM


Please don't apologize, love, there's no need. How horrific that somebody planned to hurt you in that way. You have every right to be angry. Rapists certainly do know that what they do is fair game for a sense of power and control they feel inadequate without it.

The blame belongs aquarely with him, the bastard.


Lou xxxxx

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Posted 02 August 2002 - 08:44 AM

Crap.  Tried to type that it wasn't but it was, in whichever case I want to look at.  Oh, I'm SO annoyed that this stuff can be premeditated.  Sorry, my sense of humour has gone wry on me lately, and for some reason this is giving me a  feeling of sour sarcasm.  NOT THE POST, just the premeditating b*st*rds.

#53 Kitten

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Posted 13 August 2002 - 05:16 AM

((((Hugs for everyone))))
This may *T*

I know my rape was premeditated.  I met the guy at the staff canteen I was working in between college and school, he was a member of staff.  He invited me and a friend to go out with him and his friends.  He called me the day before.  I won't go into detail here, that is for the Share your story forum.  But the next day, after he drugged and r*ped me and dropped me home.  I tried to call him, and the number he had given me was a payphone.  He had covered all his tracks.  I didn't even know where he lived or his surname. If giving me the wrong number so I couldn't find him isn't planning it in advance, then I don't know what is!


#54 Lora

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Posted 06 June 2003 - 03:15 PM

  The two men who attacked me had definitely planned SOMETHING, but I don't know if it was robbery or rape.  (I went to a friend's house to take care of the cat while she was away.)  They were in the bushes next to the garage when I got there.  Whether MINE was planned or not, they could have no way of knowing *I* would be there...

 The hardest thing is that I am certain at least one of them has done this before, based on both what he did and things he said about women always enjoying the pain.

  And he'll do it again...


#55 justaskcinderella

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Posted 21 June 2004 - 07:56 AM

hey ppls

he may not have planned to  rape me that night but he planned on having sex with me whether I said yes or no

- Nikki

#56 survivor

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Posted 07 July 2004 - 11:48 PM

I never even thought about the idea of premeditation before.  I just thought about the attack.  But mine was definitely pre-meditated.  He was a stranger who was just waiting for a victim to come along.  He had the gun in the car.  He had it all planned out.

In a way, it makes me feel a little less guilty knowing that.  Because it helps me realize that it wasn't me, it was just a victim that he was looking for.  Had I not fallen prey to him, another one would have.

So maybe I saved some other girl from the horror that night...


#57 kissi1977

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Posted 08 July 2004 - 08:32 AM

I have to agree that some are more premeditated than others.  Mine was very premeditated.  My rapist had picked me out at a club.  Followed me silently for months.  Staked out the building where I lived.  He knew exactly what he was going to do before he broke into my apartment.  Knew exactly when he needed to be out of my apartment before people started their days.  He brought supplies and back up supplies with him.  

It's horribly frightening to think that anyone would go to that much trouble to do something so awful to another person.


#58 LemonMeringue

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Posted 11 July 2005 - 02:32 PM


This is such an important topic! I saw a therapist a few days after my rape (who completely sucked and blamed me for "being too nice to people") who had one good insight: The supremely slimey douchebag who raped me absolutely planned it. If not me, somebody else would've been victimized. Woah...a little helpful, a lot disconcerting.

After I broke through that barrier, I began to realize that objects that were in the room I was taken to were actually *weapons.* ((Wow.)) A jump rope. Duct tape. A kitchen knife. All of these things seemed normal at the time -- normal? I'm a smart girl. Just goes to show how fuzzy your mind gets when you're being pinned down, threatened and assaulted repeatedly while begging God or whomever to get you through this so that your mom doesn't flip out when you go missing.

I am so thankful that I had a year to put all of these pieces together before the trial so that I could identify those objects as weapons in court. And I did, and the festering jackass was convicted. The number one weapon I identified? His mind. The number two weapon? His hands. I also made the jury understand that the while other weapons were relatively inconsequential (he didn't use them on me) they were still there.

When I was in high school, I had a premonition in a dream that I would be raped at a beach someday. I distinctly remember waking up and telling my then-boyfriend about the dream. I avoided beaches for a long time. In the end, I met the man who raped me at a beach and gave him a ride back to the resort at which he worked (because I'm "too nice"). People give me a hard time about giving a stranger a ride, but who knows what weapons he had hidden at the beach? (I mean aside from the huge rocks and 35-degree-Fahrenheit water and total solitude...)

In any event, he admitted to me (while pinning me down and bruising my soul) that rape was his number one fantasy. As far as I'm concerned, fantasy is premeditation. It's just a matter of opportunity that prevents the fantasy from becoming reality. He told me he couldn't "keep it up" because I wasn't screaming and thrashing around like the girl in his fantasy. Sorry I couldn't help you out, buddy...real shame.


#59 Guest_Sparrow_*

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Posted 05 February 2006 - 11:16 PM

When I was about 16 I worked in the local mall of the town I lived in. My friend had a brother who was 19 at the time and of course it was very cool to have an older guy interested in you. He worked at a Tuxedo rental store in the same mall and I went to go see him. We went in the backroom and he played his guitar. When he made a move on me I didn't resist his kiss but then he got this very determined body language (that's the only way I can describe it) and came after me. I don't know if I said no or thought it, but I knew it didn't matter he was going to anyway, and he did. I never knew I could say no and mean it. Being at the time a csa victim, it was normal for me. So much so I asked him to my prom. We went to dinner, then the prom. We had some drinks and I got so wasted it was unbelievable. I could drink fairly well then and in all my adult years and I am 44 I have never felt like that, like I was paralyzed. I couldn't even make coherent sounds. He took me out of the prom, took me to the beach and r*ped me again. It wasn't for many years later, when my husband told me that I was r*ped. I didn't even know, he most likely drugged me. Twice by the same man, to say I felt like a fool is putting it mildly. I don't think I even know how to process how this feels. I have talked with my "T" about this once. Is that enough to process something that feels like it happened in another lifetime? Does this make sense to anyone? This would be definitely premeditated he would of had to bring the drugs to the prom. A girl I worked with who dated him said he did that to her also, I wonder if the guys is still around doing the same things to other women so many years later...sorry for the novel. I guess it needed to be said. Thanks for letting me share!

#60 sheblynn

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Posted 28 February 2006 - 10:40 PM

i know my assualt was premeditated cause he was stalking me but i didnot know that :(

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