I love this thread! It is so helpful to read everyone's thoughts on this subject.
One more thought: I experienced a lot of non-SA abuse and neglect as a kid and while working through it in therapy my best friend would say things like, "that was so long ago" and "don't let it affect you so much, try to forget about it and move on". I always felt bad, 'cuz I knew her home life wasn't good either and she seemed to have "forgotten and moved on".
Right. Years have passed and she has kids now and I've seen her get overwhelmed and rage at them and I think to myself, "I wonder if she ever wonders where all that anger comes from"?
Three years ago I had my first CSA flashback and about a year ago the shit really
hit the fan. I recently had to go back home for a funeral and be in the same room as my uncle (who is one of my abusers). Needless to say I was pretty anxious about it. When I got back and was telling my friend about it she said, "Oh Jo. That was so long ago. It's time to let it go. He can't hurt you anymore." When she said that last bit I involuntarily gagged and started sobbing wildly. She was shocked by my reaction (especially since I was driving and chatting happily a second before and suddenly I had to pull over and break down). I think it was the first time she ever saw how much pain I'm really in and how uncontrollable the fallout from this truly is.
The other thing? I think maybe it happened to her too. I think it happened to her and my talking about it is so uncomfortable for her she tries to shut me down. I love her dearly and I know she loves me. That is why I put up with her ignorance in the past, and now that I know more, it is why am trying to educate her and help her understand.
Edited by BhaaDass, 31 August 2011 - 08:54 PM.