Report it. Yes. The first time. The police blamed me for what happened even though he was a repeat offender. They had pictures of him spanning several years and different hairstyles and types of facial hair. They never tried to catch him.
The second time. Why? So I could be blamed again. I don't think so.
The third time. No way. I married him. Before we married, he used coercion. On our honeymoon, he would climb and and start while I was still asleep. The one time I told him "No" he choked me and took what he wanted. I never did say no again, about anything. But if it was my fault before, it must have been my fault then as well.
Was my thinking flawed? Oh, yes. Looking back, I should have called the police weekly to see if they had caught him yet. They might not have given up so easily. The second was a pedophile. He deserved to be hung by the privates. My husband? That's over, too. And he still says he is innocent.
Am I to blame for the first one's repeats. No. It was his choice to enter homes for the purpose of assaulting women. If anyone is to blame other than him, it is the system that allowed him to continue when he had a long time history of unlawful entry with assault.
The second. No. But I wish I had reported him anyway.
The third. He never had to use force again. After choking me to near unconsciousness, and telling me to never tell him "no" again, I never said no again. But having sex to prevent violence is not the same as consensual sex. Took me years to figure out I had been raped for decades.
Edited by threetimes, 25 February 2012 - 10:41 AM.