I don't believe there is anyway that we can be responsible for the choices and behaviors of anyone but ourselves. Choosing to report is no guarantee that a rapist will not rape again. It is not a guarantee that s/he will be found guilty and pulled off the streets. We have absolutely no control over there behavior...
I have reported and am going ahead with a trial, and I hear you in that I had plenty of pressure from others about getting him off the street, protecting potential future victims and "what about his kids??" Those are guilt inducing statements, but all along I think that I knew that whatever I chose to do, it would in no way guarantee how he would make his future choices.
The legal system isn't easy to navigate. I think the only reason I chose to report was because it was my only hope in getting it to stop. I'd tried everything else known to man and it didn't work to get him to leave me alone. I was and continue to be reluctant to do this b/c I am related to this person and I know everyone that will be profoundly effected by this process. I think if he were a stranger and I didn't know him or anyone related to him it would be a hands down "oh, sure I'll report" (for me). I think the choice is more complicated when you know them, or are close to people close to them. There is this sense that somehow your actions of prosecuting are hurting all those people (even though it's not *us* we didn't choose violence *they* did. Our choice to prosecute is directly related to the choice they did, so in that vein...they brought this onto their loved ones, not us. That is so difficult to remember).
I'm long-winded--this is what happens when I'm overtired and sick ;) But yeah, we're not responsible for his behavior at any point in time. His behavior = his responsibility. We are only responsible for taking care of ourselves, and that will mean different things for different people.
Take gentle care,