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#16 Ash

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 06:57 AM


This link has lots of useful tips for dealing with and detecting stalking.

#17 Persephone

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Posted 22 August 2006 - 07:06 AM

Thank you for this thread.

I recently found letters from a stalker I dealt with last year.

After the second or third letter he left in my door (he found out where I lived two days after I said hello to him in a Wal-Mart!) I went to the police and they told me to tell him that I was not interested! This guy was an Army Ranger! :blink:

I thought that was the wrong response; thank you for confirming that with this thread.


#18 Jeanette

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Posted 30 November 2006 - 06:16 AM

I think part of what makes stalking so scary is the level of irrationality to it. My mother kept saying "you need to relax, now that he knows he will get in trouble, he will leave you alone". Uh, no. No rational person believes that the best way to get your woman back is to assault her and then stalk her. This is irrational, so consequences are not a deterent.
I got my stalking order after a LOT of research, and had to demand the police issue it. When I finally reached a receptive officier, she admitted she didn't know how to issue one, had never done, and no one in her department had. So she had to find out how to do that before she could issue it.
So be proactive, learn about the laws and don't accept the "he's just having a little trouble letting go" bullsh**.
I still worry, I still made sure when I changed jobs that my new employer understood that my information was not to be given out. My phone is unlisted.

#19 Persephone

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Posted 30 November 2006 - 06:24 AM

Shortly after being stalked by that creepy psycho Army Ranger, some guy tried to get me to get into his car. He even offered me money for sex. :tear: A (now former) "friend" told me that I should be flattered from the attention and that she wished something like that would happen to her! :blink:

#20 silent star

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Posted 31 December 2006 - 10:23 AM

just wanted to point out that women can stalk too. someone I used to know stalked a man after a very brief rebound relationship. she was very troubled (I don't speak to her anymore).

she was not physically violent but she was quite obsessed with him in a way that went far beyond anything rational and she blamed him for all of her obsession/pain. she also almost caused an accident by backing up in a panic as she drove by his house on one of her many drive-bys and found to her surprise that he was coming home and saw her.

#21 SurvivingTheStorm

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Posted 31 December 2006 - 12:31 PM

Thanks for this thread.

#22 freedomflys

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Posted 31 December 2006 - 01:14 PM

Never think that your fear or anguish means you are overreacting. You're not - the repeated exposure to the fear and unsafety caused by stalking has been known to cause PTSD. Experts have identified a condition they call 'Inescapable Shock Trauma" - IST - Which is similar to PTSD (i.e. nightmares, poor sleep, depression, anxiety) and manifests in stalking victims. It may be especially severe in those who have attempted unsuccessfully to stop the stalking, or who have been 'played' with i.e. it stops and starts. Prolonged exposure to the unsafety of stalking is a real wound. People have been inclined to think that if they ignore it, will go away. If you are lucky, this may be true. But where a stalker is operating from obsession, no amount of ignoring them is likely to end the problem

This really got my attention. I was so leery about going into this post and reading it especially feeling like I have been feeling lately. The word stalking is even a trigger. But as I continued to read...well this validates so much for me. It is going on 4 years since the stalking began for me. Off and on...I don't know when it will start again and just when I think all is okay it all starts again and the police have all but given up. It doesn't feel like they are taking it seriously and neither does my family. Some have said I should feel flattered and it isn't that bad. It could be worse...those kind of statements. So I can't reach out to anyone. I feel like I am making a big deal out of it and all. And if it starts back up again are they going to help me?? This tells me that it is that serious. So serious...I mean how can it minimized...I was brutally *....but last year my dogs were shot. One of my dogs lost his leg. But still it isn't a big deal? Anyway...I have felt that I was just too sensitive, too paranoid, over reacting. I also thought it made my PTSD so much more worse but I couldn't get anyone to hear me. But this IST is exactly what I am go through...but I also know this is PTSD. Regardless though this helps me so much and the websites I am thankful for. I will have to come back little by little and read each one at a later time. But I just want to say thanks Louise.

Take care,

#23 joanD

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Posted 15 January 2007 - 08:37 AM

Thank you so much for putting this helpful information on Stalking on this website. My ex-boyfriend stalked me last summer, and it was a nightmare.
The local Domestic Abuse Council in this area told me that I couldn't have him arrested due to lack of evidence. That put me into a Depression, where I was afraid to go outdoors. My boss and other women helped, but a some people did not believe me.
This is still a very emotional issue for me. I am getting upset as I write this. He was emotionally abusive to me in the relationship. I just wanted to be rid of him after we broke up, and then he started stalking me.
I feel guilty that I allowed the abuse to go on as long as it did.I wish that I had been ...
I don't know what I wish. I loved this guy, and he was an abusive alcoholic, and he continued to stalk me after we broke up- with other girls. This has affected my self-esteem. I really need to get some help, and this area is totally limited in it's services.
Thanks for posting this. This websitew has been really helpful for me.

Edited by joanD, 15 January 2007 - 08:43 AM.

#24 joanD

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Posted 15 January 2007 - 08:37 AM


Edited by joanD, 15 January 2007 - 09:08 AM.

#25 Xavier

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Posted 16 January 2007 - 01:04 PM

I will read the link.
My biological father has stalked me and my brothers twice in the past.. He's in jail now for a few months, but after that he'll eventually will stalk us again I think. Only question is, when.
Thanks for posting it.


#26 Tamuril

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Posted 17 February 2007 - 03:42 PM

Meh. From experience, cyberstalking can hurt a lot, especially if you're already terrified about leaving your room. :( It's bad enough to have people on campus who think it's funny to make you scared by following you around... if you're not safe in your room, on your computer... it's really not fun. :tear: But thankfully, three email/IM changes later, I seem to have shaken most of the online people (most). :)

#27 ChristineMarie

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Posted 18 February 2007 - 09:55 AM

Louise, thank you so much for all the information. I never considered what my last perp did as stalking. Now after reading your information, it seems more like that is what he did. I was real good friends with his younger sister, and they were also my neighbors. He was always around, always following me, and trying to get me alone. I see now, I think that he was a stalker.

Edited by christinevght, 18 February 2007 - 09:55 AM.

#28 Pavitra

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Posted 17 May 2007 - 09:21 PM

I wanted to say thank you for this information as well. I don't know if it would count but my state says putting someone under surveillance counts as stalking... and I wonder if that can be said for constantly hitting someone's Web site and trying to use that as ways to get more information about someone. My b-father and b-brother have been doing that the past two months since I got the police involved and had them tell my b-brother to stop contacting me.

#29 danusia007

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Posted 19 May 2007 - 12:59 PM

I wish that the police would follow me instead of my stalker to be continued

#30 Camellia

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Posted 19 May 2007 - 02:50 PM

Shortly after being stalked by that creepy psycho Army Ranger, some guy tried to get me to get into his car. He even offered me money for sex. :tear: A (now former) "friend" told me that I should be flattered from the attention and that she wished something like that would happen to her! :blink:

I can't believe that people consider stalking and sexual harrassment flattering! The same thing happened to me Sheri. The guy opened the window of his car as I walked by and told me he'd give money if I *****. It triggered me badly. My mind went blank. I had to get in a taxi to go back home. It was only a two-block walk but when I'm really depressed, I just don't... understand my surroundings. I get easily lost. I can't even read maps. :(

I'm sorry these things happend to all of you and hope all stalkers get caught.


Edited by scamellia, 19 May 2007 - 02:51 PM.

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