[survivor]

1. I survived, not just then, but for all the years since.
2. I accomplished so many incredible things in my life, in spite of his attempt to destroy what I was capable of doing.
3. I was able to see that all men weren't horrible and didn't become bitter towards *too* many of them.
4. I have, in part, been able to say "screw it" about other's opinions about it and me.

Biggest so far:
4. I have entered into a journey of being willing to deal with it and work through it.  To me that is the biggest accomplishment so far, because it takes so much courage.

survivor

[Stef]

Shelly, can you believe that i actually voluntarily post in this thread *again*? :;)/>:

*worked through the first 150 pages of The Courage to Heal. Hard but definitely worth it. Only 250 to go lol.

*came out of denial concerning the first assault

*wrote down my story (big one)

*allowed myself to hurt and *cry*

*started to reclaim my life, thought about reporting.

Yay for this thread, and thanks for opening my eyes and making me see my accomplishments, Shell. :)/>

Savannah

[Shell]

Bravo to you all!!! I am so proud of you!

Yay!

:yay:/>

[azul_sunshine]

Wonderful thread.
I have:
found my long lost emotions
allowed myself to cry
graduated from high school and started college
started therapy
told two people the events of that night (my t and best friend)
reached out to others when they need help
learned to ask for help

Many hugs,
Amanda

[Stef]

Boosting Shell's beautiful thread.

I learnt how to talk about my feelings. With my T, and even with others. That's one amazing step for me, considering I have never been able to do it before.

(((Shell))) Thank you once more for this thread.

Sav

[Kiota]

I wrote down part of my story.

I didn't go a meeting with a man I knew was going to harm me.

[Elfstar]

This is a great thread. I'm proud of these things.
1. I've stayed alive.
2. I understood that I had been sexually abused.
3. I admited that it wasn't my fault.
4. I stopped dating and being friends with the abusive guy and admited that at least sometimes, I hate him.
5. I joined Pandys.
6. I wrote and posted about my bad relationship here and another site.
7. I don't feel so ashamed of being weak, having panic attacks and crying sometimes than I used to be.
8. I've been to a psychiatrist and tried to get to therapy.
9. I told about my experiences and problems to strange professionals.
10. I also told some of it to my friends, mother and Grandma.
11. I could begin a new relationship with a wonderful guy (though the relationship ended later).
12. I've been able to enjoy another person's closeness a little.
13. I've learnt to trust people more than before.
14. I've helped some other people with problems giving them a little comfort and/or advice.
15. I was accepted to a school to study arts and media although I haven't recovered from the abuse and some other things and felt sick and sad in the test.
16. I draw well and write too, both about the abuse and other things.
17. I'm rediscovering my sexuality and learning to like it instead of being ashamed of it.
18. I'm looking forward to really being able to enjoy sex with a person I love.
19. Sometimes I can smile.

This post has been edited by Elfstar: 27 July 2005 - 11:00 AM

[crissibear23]

Some of my healing accomplishments:

I've told my husband (almost) everything that happened.

I've stuck it out with T even though I thought I couldn't.

I've shared my story on Pandy's.

I'm starting to deal with it rather than trying to push it aside.

I know that I want to live.

I have reported.

I went to a doctor...even if it was a couple of weeks later.

I'm starting to recognize my triggers.

I'm starting to learn how to handle/work through my triggers.

I think that's all I have for now...but I'm shocked looking at this list at what I have accomplished so far.

[yassi411]

My healing accomplishments would be that I have written about my feelings in this forum and I have readdressed the events of my abuse after a 9 year hiatus. Thanks for your time.

[survivor]

It might not be a completed accomplishment (yet), but it's a step / part of my healing accomplishment....and that is to face therapy.

survivor

[Mersey09]

Probably seems like nothing compared to what other people have done but i was quite pleased with myself :P/>

I finally managed to tell my story out loud, including saying the R word, which i've never been able to do before. It took hours and i still have to get the last little bit done, which i will do sometime this week or next, then i can move on a bit hopefully, its only taken about 18 months :P/>

[blondie2002]

I've been able to stay alone in my apt @ night and not have it bother me.
I've been able to let my male friends and family members hug me and not get freaked.
My now former co-worker R is going off to college next week, and he said he wouldn't see me next wek and he asked if he could give me a :hug:/> and I was ok with it.

This post has been edited by blondie2002: 26 April 2009 - 12:10 AM

[motherearth]

I worked in a hospital a couple of years after my r*pe. No one I worked with knew anything about it and I wanted to keep it that way. I got a call that there was a r*pe victim coming into ER and did I know anything about evidence collection? We had no female doctors and the woman refused to let a man touch her. Fortunately, I had a few minutes to try and stop shaking, throw up and get a drink of water( I'd have liked a shot of whiskey) before she came in. She reminded me so much of myself except her attacker had been a stranger. Once I started talking to her all my fears went away and I found I was able to relate to her on a deep emotional level and share that I'd been in her position and understood all too well what she was feeling. I spoke with her several time after that for support. The hardest thing for me was the next day when they brought in the man who r*ped her for evidence collection and I was asked to help with that. You can all imagine what I wanted to do to him! After he left I threw up again-mostly from the strain of holding in my fury. He eventually pleaded guilty saving her the agony of a trial.
Anyway with all this rambling, the most healing thing I've found is being able to help other women who've been assaulted. It's been 27 years next month and in that time I've talked to dozens of women. I no longer have any reservations about sharing my story. It wasn't my fault-which I've always known but the feeling of being "dirty and different" was still there. That's long gone-it's now just another thing that happened in my life, bad but not the worst thing as far as lasting effects.

[victoria21]

I love me and everything about me.
I feel free, I feel joy, I feel passion and I feel in control.
I've pushed myself with amazing results.
I trust myself.
I am straight forward and honest about my feelings and am able to ask for what I need.
I have conqured my fear.
I have conqured my shame.
I honour myself in little ways everyday, especially when I don't feel like it. (spa treatments, climbing trees, swimming, dancing! etc.)
I take care of my body, my health, and I am gentle with myself in every way. (Meditation, working out, eating well, yoga etc.)
I am working towards the life I want and I am enjoying it!
I am able to enjoy physical contact with males and trust myself enough to relax.
I ended and stopped my abuse, by myself, I took care of myself.
I've reclaimed my sexuality, even after being r**** countless times and abused in many ways, including as a child.
I think I'm amazing!
I love my body!
I love fun!
I've developed my spiritual side!
I'm happy, I'm at peace, I'm calm. I'm no longer in chaos!

[victoria21]

Knowing there are probably always going to be triggers but knowing that I can handle anything becuase I love myself and I am so strong!

Just wanted to add that in!