Jump to content


5 worst betrayals

  • Please log in to reply
147 replies to this topic

#121 bluebird88

  • Member
  • posts: 53

Posted 06 February 2013 - 09:35 PM

1. my best friend dating the guy.
2. my cousin telling me not to go to the cops or tell the police.
3. my mother drinking while i had ptsd.
4. my little sister dating the guy's cousin.
5. my dad telling me that i deserved to be hit by my mom.

#122 Gallowglass

  • Secondary Survivor
  • posts: 2

Posted 18 February 2013 - 08:08 PM

After my girlfriend was kidnapped and r**** repeatedly by an ex-boyfriend and three of his friends - and I mean right after, literally a matter of hours - some guy living in her house (best friend of her brother) tried to get in her pants. He managed it the next day and continued to do it over a period of several weeks; to make it worse she was in great physical pain due to her internal injuries, and he pressured her to continue. He would later use this against her by telling everyone she was close to that she could 'only last five minutes in bed.' When she finally came to and realised he was taking advantage of her he started playing mind games: writing her love letters and leaving them around the house, watching her as she slept, and trying to climb into bed with her. He practically lived at the house for a time and all the while was trying to wear her down and force her to get with him. Her family's reaction? Help him. Her mum and brother joined in, telling her he was a nice lad who cared about her deeply and was a friend of the family. They still allow him round there to this day and make her make him tea, though he hasn't stayed round there often since I started going out with her and the mind games have ceased entirely.

My girlfriend's brother, who for some reason thinks that all the times she's been r***** and abused are nothing short of hilarious, and continually makes jokes about her and calls her a slag. He also thinks it's a sport to antagonise her mental illnesses, such as disassociative personality disorder which arose as a result of the trauma she suffered. Her mum, who goes along with this and makes her do all the housework and takes her money, robbing her of any independence and time to herself, plus denies her any opportunity to heal with phrases like 'stop crying' or 'man up' even when she has full-on breakdowns. Her entire family - save her nan - are an ugly bag of snakes that need to be laid out straight.

#123 kas

  • Member
  • posts: 89

Posted 20 April 2013 - 02:00 PM

1 me for letting my light go out and just letting it happen and i never cried about it not once if turth be known god punistd me cos i was not good enuff but i was i was kind caring alway put others before my self now i know now i cry and they cant stop

2 the man that hurt me so much i just wished for death to come allso he was related to my boyfriend how also rape me

3 my mum she cryed but did not believe me cos i was to ashamed to say there was blood how was i to know that and cos her son my brother rape me to he was the golden one he could not do eny thing wrong so it was my fault and for telling the only man i ever trused that i was making it up

4 my dad for not giving a shit about it for not even telling me ill be ok and for letting me trust him just to leave me and my brother kyle and my sister dan just befoe christmas the shit

5 the police how lied to me they told me that he wold go to prison and did not

#124 Guest_Abishai_*

  • Guests

Posted 20 April 2013 - 03:18 PM

1 worst betrayals primary was my mother for constantly covering-up for her daughter (my elder sister and first abuser) by the way she comes to the house frequently and sucks up to her, which is a constant kick in n**s

2 my father for not listening (though that is down to my mothers mindgames)

3 my former best friend, colleage and minister, for screwing around and pushing my buttons during the counselling and then breaching a position of trust and manipulating and broadcasting information from the councelling deliberatly so he could f*** me up and cover his and the f***-ups of his own staff,
what i want to do is lie in wait and put a crossbow-bolt through his f***** skull (or torture the guy very,very slowly but not enuf to kill him ) obviously i have along way to go until im over it

4 my "friends" for stabbing me in the back

5 my old youth leaders for standing by and allowing me to be assaulted and r**** and just spouting evangelical religious crap


Edited by Abishai, 20 April 2013 - 03:41 PM.

#125 nameless1

  • Member
  • posts: 54

Posted 24 April 2013 - 08:06 PM

The worst betrayal for me was the reaction I got from my community after the rape occurred. The perpetrators were on a sports team and told all their friends about it, but in the context that I was a willing paticipant. Word got around town and people I had known my whole life started to treat me differently, not make eye contact or say that I wasn't a "good girl".

I attempted suicide and when I woke up from a coma the nurse told me how spoiled and selfish I was and how I was just doing it for attention. Then when I told a psychiatrist I had been raped he told me not to discuss it while I was in hospital. He completely ignored the fact and diagnosed me as manic depressive and put me on tons of pills.

I think I have pretty much done some good healing about the actual events, but it is the betrayal by all the bystanders that keeps me in a state of distrust of the world.

#126 rosiej~9

  • Member
  • posts: 21

Posted 30 May 2013 - 11:24 PM

*T*, maybe

First one when I was nine, and a family friend babysat me for the weekend. After three days of "tickle parties" and "cuddle sessions" where he'd stick his hand down my pants and up my shirt I felt completely filthy and at the time I didn't know why. So after my mom and her husband (dad's dead) got home, it took a while to say what happened. And while my mom was up in arms about it, my step dad said "are you sure you're not lying? Justin would never do something like that, he's been my best friend for years. Are you sure you aren't lying?"

When I was sixteen my step dad molested me also, so that betrayal makes more sense now.

The second one is going on right now. My step dad is no longer living in my house because I told my mom and she kicked him out, but after that she never spoke about it again. Then she started talking about how nasty I am, how I'm a whore, how ungrateful and manipulative and unpleasant I am. But I still was in pain, so I tried to talk to her about the triggers I was having. she responded with "well you need to figure all that out. None of us have time for that sort of turmoil, you need to sort it out."

Okay, mindf**k. The first one was easy to handle, mainly because it was explained later. But this one? The woman who's been in my corner my whole life is now scorning me, making me feel like I don't deserve to feel the pain that I do (that's the most mind-f**king part, I don't believe I deserve to be here anymore), and on top of it all, inviting him over every few days to mow the lawn, fix the sink, go over bill payments and generally just hang out. And I can't help but stew in my own hopelessness, there's no way to get over it when you live under her roof and your abuser comes over every weekend to visit. Gah.


#127 mags

  • New Member
  • posts: 2

Posted 10 June 2013 - 12:06 PM

The worst betrayal for me was the reaction of my best friend at the time. When I had told her what happened she simply said "That sucks" and then went on to tell me about the highlights she got in her hair. Pretty soon she stopped picking up the phone. She didn't stick up for me and her abandonment was more painful than the rape. 14 years of friendship down the drain.

#128 Lyssamay1989

  • But where are the snows of yester-year?

  • Member
  • posts: 175

Posted 10 June 2013 - 09:54 PM

1. When he promised me he'd never make me cry again after he got drunk and started calling me names the first time.
2. He knew he had a problem, but just kept doing the same s**t over and over again.
3. My mom telling me that I need to stop talking about my SA to my boyfriend because I'll "push him away"

#129 greygin55

  • Member
  • posts: 387

Posted 13 October 2013 - 02:59 PM

How did you/were you able to come to a place where you experienced these things as betrayals? I feel like I should be able to do this exercise and yet when I try to pull 5, literally nothing comes to mind. My thoughts go blank...

#130 paamboli

  • paamboli

  • Member
  • posts: 42

Posted 14 October 2013 - 02:18 PM

My father

My sister

My pediatrician

My mother did/did not believe me, but did nothing.

Nobody believed me until I was 20, but nothing was done to protect me, for fear of family and social scandal. Instead, I was placed on a locked ward in a very fancy private psychiatric hospital for a year, to keep me from talking. I had no diagnosis-merely warehoused to protect my parents' reputation. Things were very different in the 1950's...

I am 74, still fragile, suffering from long-term PTSD and Major Depression.

#131 Paulalynne

  • Member
  • posts: 6

Posted 07 November 2013 - 04:20 PM

I can't imagine a worse betrayal against another human being than being raped.

#132 Kiandra

  • Survivor

  • Member
  • posts: 164

Posted 07 November 2013 - 06:35 PM

1. My brother for r**ing me.

2. My mother for covering it up and making me keep it a secret.

3. My mother again for telling me graphic rape stories from 10 years old and older even knowing I was a traumatized r**e victim.

4. My therapist when I was a teen not believing me when I mentioned molestation in my past, making me unable to talk about it again and he never asked.

5. My sister for telling me our brother didn't "have that vibe" about him when I told her.

Edited by Kiandra, 07 November 2013 - 06:36 PM.

#133 catey

  • Member
  • posts: 14

Posted 08 November 2013 - 12:58 AM

1. My brother who chose to molest and frighten me my entire growing up, and threatened to kill me if I told

2. My mother for letting him molest me (I told her every single time but she never did a thing and kept it from my father, who is now dead)

3. When I told my other siblings after I grew up, they chose to blame me and I lost them also

4. My mother has my abuser brother over every holiday, and I spend them alone as a single mom

5. Religion -- I am/was just supposed to "forgive," and move on and act like it never happened or else it is me with the problem 

#134 8888

  • Breaking the Silence

  • Contributing Member
  • posts: 2,095

Posted 19 November 2013 - 09:04 PM

1. my abuse happened when i was like 4 and only twice so i don't really have proof who did it.  my therapist kept asking me who i thought did it.  so i answered who i thought had did it at that point in time, reminding her i wasn't really sure.  however, she decided to call DYFAS.  thankfully they said since there was no proof of anything i did not have to report.  I am glad I didn't report because the more I think about, I think that man may be a little weird and was around when this happened but I don't think he actually did anything wrong.


2. the second and much more hurtful was i lost my best friend due to her lack of understanding.  i was having an awful day full of flashbacks.  she could tell i was upset so i told her i was having bad thoughts because of what happened to me when i was little.  i did not go into the details of what i was envisioning because i didn't want to upset her.  then we went out shopping.  i managed to go shopping for about 4 hours but afterward i felt very triggered and told my friend i need to go home and asked if she would drop me back at my house.  she refused.  so then i began having a large panic attack so i ran to the car.  we fought afterward and i made up my mind that she really did not understand me and i didn't want to be her friend anymore.  we did text to try to resolve the problem but she kept insulting me via text so i decided she was not worth it.  she basically told me see was sick of dealing with my disabilities (i have a few).  and so does she, so you'd think she'd understand, but i guess not.  now i am pretty much friendless, she was my rock for almost 10 years, now i really don't have anyone. 

#135 breakawayfearless

  • Member
  • posts: 40

Posted 20 November 2013 - 05:09 PM

I think my worst betrayal was myself. For acting like nothing had ever happened and everything was just fine for over 10 years.

Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.