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5 worst betrayals

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#91 TekamahAkina

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Posted 23 April 2011 - 11:55 PM

He did....I went to talk to his wife or his daughter (both she was a family friend, and his daughter was and still is a good friend) about a male friend who had been doing things I wasn't comfortable with....he took that to a whole new level, and yes, I still feel betrayed by that sense.

My father for saying I may have "made it up" so my SO wouldn't think I was "easy" or getting around prior to getting in a relationship with him. I'm just like come on, i worked, had school, did a few extracurricular activities in school, when would I get the time or the energy to have a sex life? IDK why he said it but I still feel angry and hurt he would say that. He was barely there in that time period, we just coexisted under a roof and four walls, so yeah, he certainly has no right to make that sweeping judgement. I to this day still feel a lot of resentment and hostility over that.

Right now thats all I can think of.

Edited by TekamahAkina, 24 April 2011 - 12:37 AM.

#92 Pilgrim

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 12:38 PM

:unsure: my first therapist, after 7 years of having a good relationship with me...she dumped me 1 night. no warning, no "this will be our last session on thursday"...nothing whatsoever and i thought things were going fine. just "I'm not going to see you anymore." That's it. Then she was gone. And she knew that abandonment was my biggest trigger, she knew what she was doing, she knew how hard it was going to be on me... and now she has nothing to do with me. Out of nowhere. :tear:

:glare: ex "best friend" K who just disappeared out of my life, and allowed me for a YEAR to think she was dead when she refused to answer emails, her phone, or anything. i still have no idea why she did it. we are no longer friends.

how did i deal with it? by crying for the past 6 years and not getting over it. :shy: i wish i could. i dont know how.

#93 lmvjohnson

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Posted 06 May 2011 - 01:20 PM

My husband cheating on me after being with him for 8yrs - it's broken my heart, don't think its something I'll ever get over...

#94 cjb003

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Posted 24 June 2011 - 08:46 PM

My mother for not protecting me and allowing my father to do those awful things to me. Actually, she enabled the behavior. Then she refused to believe me and instead chose him over me.

#95 jean1985

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Posted 06 July 2011 - 09:47 AM

My worst betryal was after 25 yrs of marriage finding out my husband abused our Daughter!!!

#96 BladeDancer

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Posted 20 July 2011 - 09:17 PM

maybe a trigger for some ppl?

1) my step dad for molesting me for so many years, and telling my mom he wasnt, and taking advantage by giving me the impression if i talked bout it the family i wanted to be real would fall apart, and my mom would be devastated
2) my mom. i can forgive her for marrying a convicted child molester(because he had been convicted 15 years ago and seemed to have recovered, even his daughter thought so, and me too at first)but when it all finally came to light she lied about seeing him AND LET HIM INTO OUR HOUSE and was sitting on his side of the courtroom while i was falling apart on the other, trying to help his legal case, and oh yeah, she defended him by saying 'he was sleep deprived' which totally explains everything!
3) the f*ckn lawyer he hired who said i dreamed it all, and 'i dont know how much sexual experience you have since youre 14, but how else would you know what male genitals feel like' i almost threw the water bottle they gave me at him
4)my friend/father-like figure/mentor-dude-person for helping me so much and then disappearing out of my life. sorta a trend with people i know

i got through it by trying really hard to make my mom understand. shes on my side now, but i stil have some issues with trusting her. the lawyer i just am pissed at from afar, and the mentor dude is just gone, so i focus on stuff i can do. not really specific or helpful, i know.

Edited by BladeDancer, 20 July 2011 - 09:35 PM.

#97 Meggy

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Posted 03 October 2011 - 05:30 PM

I know how that feels. It's like your whole world crashes along with your computer.
After weeks of going over police statements I found I had accidentally voice recorded my assault when I put my iPod down. I cried that it vindicated me and corroborated my version of events. Some of it word for word.
Then last weekend the thing froze and I had to wipe it and restore it.

My worst betrayal now is the fact that my now ex husband confessed and apologised to me for what 'happened' on facebook chat log, i had no way of saving it not being computer literate... I asked the police who were already involved... 4 days later someone came to 'look at it and read it' and said that this was enough evidence to now go ahead with a charge against him, added to the other evidence that had been collected which was not enough on its own. then last night after managing to save it for several days without shutting the computer down, waiting for a special team to come and retrieve the messages so they could be evidenced... facebook has just crashed and its all lost... all of it... there is now no way to evidence it... i am devastated... and feel totally betrayed by the system now was well as him.

#98 JacquiLeigh

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Posted 25 October 2011 - 01:49 AM

My worst betrayal I think was my mom. I had three perps, all members of the family. My dad, my uncle, and my maternal grandfather. She knew. And she did nothing. For fourteen years of my life she knew what they were doing to me. Especially my dad, there's no denying she knew things were happening there. When I started remembering she was able to describe to me certain events in great detail to me. Not only did she know what was going on and let it continue, but she kept it to herself until this past year. It took her 22 years to tell someone, and that person was me. In ways, I think that hurts more than the damage from extensive CSA. :tear:

#99 splath

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Posted 13 November 2011 - 05:05 PM

A guy I was hooking up with noticed that I hesitated on some things and asked me if I had been abused in the past. I said I wasn't ready to talk about it. Later that night, he had sex with me without checking to make sure I was okay with it, despite the fact that I was clearly far too drunk to be able to decide whether or not I wanted to. Turns out he's a bit of an alcoholic, so even though my BAC was about twice as high as his, he doesn't remember anything and I'm stuck remembering everything. He doesn't even know that he betrayed me. And in answer to his question, no, I hadn't been physically or sexually abused in the past, but I had been emotionally abused. But now if he were to ask me again, I'd have to say yes to all three. How ironic.
This just happened a few weeks ago, so I'm still trying to process what happened and figure out how to cope.

Edited by splath, 13 November 2011 - 05:08 PM.

#100 LGchk

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Posted 30 November 2011 - 04:24 AM

1. My biggest betrayal: My boyfriend at age 14... the first person I opened up to. I told him that my neighbor was forcing me to have sex with him and that I thought I might be pregnant (my 30 something year old neighbor that is). My bf of the time got mad, said I was cheating on him (yes, rape counts as the girl cheating apparently) and then shoved me into a wall. He was the first person I thought I could trust enough to confide in and get help from. Instead, I woke up after blacking out to him pulling my pants off, and raping me. And then beating me. He destroyed any trust I had left to give that I might ever be able to get help

2. My friend at age 15, who I went camping with him AND HIS MOM. I trusted him to go on a hike and he threw away my asthma medication and drank all of our water in 100+ degree weather. That night he came into my tent, held a knife to my throat, and raped me too.

3. My first counselor, who when I said I think I was raped (a bit of an understatement, I knew I had been but was scared)... she kicked me out of the appointment 50 minutes early. I got a new counselor that specializes in SA.

4. My friend 'M', who said she believed me, and took me under her wing and treated me like her baby sister. I will never forgive her for saying "I'm not mad, but I can't keep repeating myself. You need help, you are really fucked up. I know you are, you know you are, so just get over it, don't talk to me anymore" Thanks M... you could have just said you needed me to talk to someone else about my rape... instead I just wanted to die that night for feeling I had hurt you somehow.

5. A crisis line, for saying that they didn't believe me when I told them I was having memories of CSA... for actually providing a link to the False Memory Syndrome page. Thank you, because I needed to know the world doubts me just as much as I doubt myself.

#101 Steve

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Posted 30 November 2011 - 06:13 PM

my worst betrayal was at the hands of my mother.
I was 13 so the abuse had been going on for 4 years. she knew about some of the violence, it is hard to hide black eyes and body bruising. I had already told her as much as I could so she knew that something bad was happening and that I was often very upset.
Her standard responses were either, "maybe you aren't trying hard enough to fit in" or "Surely it isn't that bad" Occasionally I would get the, "Just stand up for yourself" which was real useful against 5 or more and even if I managed then I would have been in trouble for fighting because that was another of her things, "There is no excuse for hitting anyone"
I was in bed at night I was very upset and crying, I was in the process of committing Su when she walked in. I sort of couldn't hide the knife so I was sprung.
She talked to me. Put her hand on my hand on top of thee knife and talked. I couldn't get the words out again. All I could say was, "They hurt me".
She said that she had no idea that it was that bad and that she would take action. She told me to give it 1 more week and if it hadn't improved she would take me out of that school. she took the knife from me and that was it. I was sent right back the next day and every day after that.

#102 Singmetosleep

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Posted 16 January 2012 - 11:44 AM

While everyone deals with your rape a different way, some ways are intensely hurtful and betraying. My worst experience was with my step dad and mom. I didn't tell them for a week because I knew that they wouldn't take it well as they are very religious and judgmental. I figured they would try and blame me somehow and I just couldn't deal with that at that point. When I did finally tell my mom, three days later she had a break down and was crying and feeling very emotional about what had happened. My stepdad felt uncomfortable and didn't know what to do so he told me to move out. I had just moved back from a year of college in CA, I had no where to go. It was incredibly devastating. I tried to talk to him but he wouldn't hear it, just kept repeating how I was creating too much stress for my mom and I was trying to ruin the family,

Cset' la vie...

#103 Sister2525

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Posted 03 February 2012 - 10:08 PM

Wow, you are all so brave. My heart breaks for you. I'm really.a.secondary survivor: my sister was the victim. She is dead now and losing her destroyed a part of me. My mother let her down and betrayed her by allowing her(my sister was abused by a girl) into our home even though she knew how emotionally unstable the perpetrator was. And when she learned the truth she said nothing. She still sees.the abuser at family reunions & she's never said a word. Instead she allowed my sister to suffer by not standing up for her. Then when one of her other family members was arrested for molesting a teenage boy, she did everything in her power to get her aquitted (this pedo was a female too and she admitted it). It makes me sick that our mom did that after her daughter's life was ruined becauss of her abuse.

I can't understand how mothers can do that. They victimize their kids all over again by not supporting them. As a mom myself, there is no way in hell I would ever choose someone else over my son. I would be willing to destroy anyone if they harmed a hair in his precious head. To me, a mother's betrayal is the worst.

#104 LHL

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 09:52 AM

My mother and aunt, who cried when they found out and I assumed it was out of sadness for my experience. But who now act like nothing ever happened and assume I am fine, and so openly discuss him with me. Show me his pictures. And made me go to Thanksgiving and Christmas functions with him for five more years. Now I haven't been to one in three years. I guess I can't blame them for their denial; but I wish I could forget as easily as they have.

My abuser himself. I loved you, you were my family. I trusted you. You have ruined my life and everything I was going to be.

Everyone I called a friend who called me a prude for cringing and crying and having panic attacks triggered by overtly sexual words, films and conversations. Everyone who says, "You can't live in the past. You can't let him win and control your life." Don't you think if I could forget and move on, I would have?

My current boyfriend, who once told me during an argument that because there was no penetration, my experience did not count. And for thinking "whore and slut" are acceptable words to call me when we argue, when I already feel I am those things enough.

And myself. I wish I had been strong enough to have done something. Because now I deal with the guilt of wondering if my silence has allowed him to hurt other little girls now, like he did me.

#105 lucy

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Posted 05 April 2012 - 11:08 AM

I am so sorry we have all been betrayed so badly

Take gentle care

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