1. The teacher/"mentor" who did it. He invited me to have lunch at his house. Even though I considered him a friend, I hesitated because I wasn't used to older people inviting me over like that. He sensed my hesitation and said "listen, you don't have to be afraid of me." So I did go to his house, and that was when he did it.
2. "Peter", the first friend I told. He told me that it was wrong for me to have befriended an older man in the first place- he even literally said "Well, I hate to say I told you so...". After that I gave up on seeking help or sympathy, and wound up disappearing from all my friends and just letting the perp use and blackmail me until I broke down and dropped out of college. My life would have been very different if Peter hadn't reacted that way, or if I'd had the presence of mind to dismiss him and his thoughtless words.
3. Not sure if this counts, but the perp's (supposedly separated) wife who personally contacted me and accused me of being a homewrecker and wronging her and her children. (The perp had actually told me enough about her that I know his "relationship" with her began very much like what happened with me- she was the same age and everything. He did the same thing to her and she rightfully called it R, but he eventually convinced her she was wrong, and she tragically wound up marrying him and having kids with him. My heart breaks for her, even though she shamed me.)
4. My parents for not letting me feel like I could tell them a thing like that. All my life, whenever anyone harassed or bullied me, my father blamed me and punished me strictly, and my mother let him. So telling them about the R was unthinkable, because I knew they would make life at home miserable for me. To this day, all they know is that I was frantic to stop attending university for no apparent reason.
Well, I am trying to confront my trauma and heal, and joining this forum is a part of that. I did eventually complete my degree. And I have decided I will eventually talk to my mother about it, but not until I have moved out.
Edited by Atargatis, 15 July 2010 - 01:01 AM.