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Top 10 Stupidest Comments


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#736 Lumina

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 08:34 PM

It's hard to pick just a few...so many. Let's see:
1. That's all that happened/that's it? (as if it wasn't that bad)
2. Feeling better now? (after telling story, as if telling is a magical cure)
3. Stop being a baby /and/ it's not like he finished the job (after sexual assault that wasn't rape)
4. Stop thinking about it? Aren't you over it yet? Just stop living in the past. It was a long time ago why does it still bother you?
5. Why are you so sensitive? (implying a lack of character or that feelings are not legitimate)

#737 Bamama

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Posted 15 September 2013 - 10:08 PM

Wow... Just wowww. People are really stupid sometimes and they odd to think before they say.

I'm happy I haven't gotten any bad comments from anyone, yet. And wow.. Your mother?^ Of all people... That's terrible. :eyebrow: :(

#738 browneyedgirl

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Posted 23 September 2013 - 09:39 AM

I remember telling my best friend at school.
All she said was "Its not the worst thing in the world"

#739 Tagen

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Posted 24 September 2013 - 11:42 PM

At the school I went to we had to do a stupid course in senior years, just for the girls called 'back off'. It was meant to be 'how not to get raped 101'. I refused to go, knowing it was triggering, but asked my friend about it after and apparently it was all about self defence against rapists and how you shouldn't ask them to use a condom because that could be taken as consent. What crap..
Anyway, 4 years later they are still running this course and my fiance's little sister comes home and says 'I don't know how anyone could be dumb enough to be raped, you just run away or fight them or kick them in the balls!'
Ugh young ignorance...

#740 Tagen

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Posted 25 September 2013 - 12:10 AM

Oy.. So many ignorant hatefull people!!!

From a socalled friend/coworker.. when I said that having to go and have STD testing done following the rape was emotional : ex-friend: "Quit being a baby, You're being overly dramatic. All women have to go to the gyno, and you comparing it to rape is offensive."

My so called victims advocate pulled the " I'm sure you'll be more careful in the future" line on me.. As if I was raped because I wasn't careful :P/>.....

My relationship with my mother is strained.. I had my cousin tell her I was raped and wanted to be left alone.. First thing my mother does is show up crying telling me HER feelings were hurt that I didn't tell h er about the rape...


My mum's reaction was the same. The school told her, and she was just upset I didn't trust her enough to tell her.
Later on she decided I must be lying because I didn't tell her first and because I didn't want to talk about it.

#741 bluebirdy

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Posted 27 September 2013 - 12:25 PM

Ah, I think my ex kind of takes the cake.

When I first disclosed to him he responded by dumping me. Then once we 'worked things out' he says, "you know, if we didn't get back together I was going to make sure I dated a virgin next time" (I had never had consensual sex before him).

#742 wildnfree

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Posted 30 September 2013 - 10:57 PM

All of these comments are from my mother after I told her about SA/R that happened when I was with my ex. Here are her comments that go from bad, worse to downright scary:

"Therapy is nice, but it won't really help you recover. Pray harder."

"You'll get through this. You need to forgive and move on. Look at Maya Angelou and Joyce Meyers! They endured a lot more and turned out fine."

"Think about all the poor women and children being trafficked-they have it so much worse."

"What's common to one woman is common to all."-Is that supposed to make what happened okay or not so traumatic?

"God allowed it to happen for a reason."- I can't begin to describe how awful it felt to hear that.

"You need to tell your father what happened and ask for forgiveness."- Ask for forgiveness...are you serious?! WTH...I can't even, this comment upsets me the most! :rant:

Edited by wildnfree, 30 September 2013 - 11:01 PM.


#743 fiona

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Posted 03 December 2013 - 04:36 PM

'Can't you just find a button inside your head and delete those memories?'



#744 spurpop

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Posted 05 December 2013 - 06:43 PM

"It's like the time I got a hole in my pants. I gave myself 5 minutes to 'be italian' and get angry, and then I got over it. You need to do that too." Yes this is real. 

 

"It's not like you HAD to go in there."

 

"I'm sure there's some school rule about what YOU did. You better be careful because you could be expelled." 



#745 Love_never_dies

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Posted 15 December 2013 - 02:36 PM

Oh man, i can't believe there is actual people that have said stupid things like that.

I haven't had any comments really because i am very privy of what happened to me. It is already enought to hear people around me say some shitty comment regarding abused women to know that i should NEVER say anything. For example:

1. my dear granny, ever since i was a kid she would say (when we heard of a girl being abused) "well a man only goes as far as a woman allows him to" really grandma? i bet you also wanted grandpa to give you those beatings everytime he got mad at you. You should have never allowed that.

 

2. Granny again "your  mother deserves your father talks to her that way, after all she is a bad wife" Excuse me? can we go back to point number 1. again talking about grandpa? maybe you didn't serve his soup warm enough and that is why you deserved a sucker punch in the face.

 

3. Ohhhh granny again. She was visiting me for a summer and we had a fight because i was  making plans to go out with one of my girlfriends to the theatre, she kept on ranting i was not allowed to go and leave her alone and then finally she attacks me with the following "well, you live in a different country all by yourself, only God knows what you really have been doing while alone" mainly she call me a whore. She did the same to my mom when she was a teenager so when i told her what happened over the phone she was furious and told me she would help out to get the plane ticket changed so grandma would leave ASAP. How i loved my mom!

 

4. When my mother died, which was a year after my R (of course i was very emotionally distressed already), i was invited to a friends house just two months after the funeral, of course i had lost my only and most strong supporter which helped me get through that first year. I was feeling utterly destroyed and over coffee she goes "oh come on it has been 2 months you should just get over it, you are depressed the whole time, move forward" I just exploded and told her she didn't know what she was talking about and to shut it.

 

People can be really cruel.



#746 jmk23

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Posted 16 December 2013 - 10:55 PM

Possible Triggers for Language******



My ex's current girlfriend trying to give me a new "perspective" on what happened:

"Have you ever looked at it from his point of view? Did you say no loud enough? Did you struggle enough? You guys had talked about having sex for the first time before, he just thought that that night was "the night". Maybe he just didn't see the signals that you didn't want to. Did it feel like rape?"
 

My ex when we talked about the rape (he was drunk and doesn't remember much):

"It makes me feel better to know that at least I didn't hit you"

....glad you're feeling better...gaah.gif sad.png



#747 Tagen

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Posted 15 January 2014 - 12:00 PM

My mum: 'I would know if that had happened, besides if it were the truth you would have told me when you got home'.

A counsellor: 'at least it was just one guy at a time, not all at once'.

And my sister in law always says things like 'i would fight back' and 'I'd never let that happen to me'
.. Well I didn't LET it happen to me either! >:(

The last thing my SIL did was lend me 'one of her favourite books' that she thought I'd like, in which

......trigger.....

One of the main characters kills herself, apparently because of PTSD and CSA.
How is that going to help me? It might have had a good ending but I got halfway through the book and couldn't deal. Such a stupid book for her to recommend to me.. Or anyone!

#748 blind_bird

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Posted 16 January 2014 - 03:53 AM

The stupidest thing anyone ever said to me was:
" why didn't you push him off?" " your strong right?"

That was one of my friend.

#749 8888

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Posted 02 April 2014 - 08:58 PM

"I think it was an accident." umm, no

possible trigger

"r victims usually like to keep on showering since they feel the abuse has made them dirty. You don't think that and hate to shower so you can't be a r victim." geesh, it's not a one size fits all kind of thing

"why would a women molest a female?" Why would anyone molest anyone?

#750 Maui_on_my_mind

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Posted 11 April 2014 - 05:16 AM

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...what BS!!


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