Posted 06 May 2012 - 06:28 PM
I both love and hate this thread all in one. So, a couple I can think of...
My dad, when I first told him: "You weren't raped"
Me: "YES. I. WAS!"
My dad: "Ok, fine 'consensual rape' then"
My mum, about a day after I told her: "Oh honey, it's going to be ok. We're going to go home and I'm going to look after you. You know what, when we get home I think it would really help you to go on internet dating and meet a couple of guys." Uhh, yeah. Not to mention I met my abusive ex on an internet dating site.
My mum, this morning (7 months after the above comment), "you know, I just don't know how long to sit on the sidelines for. You get so angry when I say things but you've got to start living again. What you really need is a job."
My mum (again!), "I just KNOW it wouldn't happen to me. I'm not saying it was your fault but there are some people who are definitely more prone to it than others. I would have seen him coming." Oh, ok mum, so the fact that he emotionally, physically and mentally abused me into submission before the abuse and rapes even started was all because I'm that 'type' of person.
My BFF: "I think you;re just, like, stuck in this bubble and it's making the fear worse. You need to just not worry about when you'll be ok, or what the statistics say about you being attacked again, you need to get out there. Oh and to talk about it. You need T, it will get it out and you'll see there's nothing to be scared of."
My dad (after I was crying over how slow and painful the court procedure was): "Chill girl. Lower the expectations. It probably won't even go to court and even if it does, he's not going to get anything because nothing serious happened." Yeah dad, multiple vaginal, oral and anal rape, sexual assault and physical assault are 'nothing serious'.
My mum, "you're safe now, he's not hurting you any more." OHH, so my constant flashbacks, anxiety and RTS are me hurting myself then?!
A police officer, discussing the case with me: "Now, I need to go over some of the things the defense might pick up on as proof that he's innocent. Firstly, after the anal rape, you had regular sex with him. And you were smiling." No I did NOT have regular sex with him, that was still rape. I was smiling because AS HE SAYS VERY CLEARLY ON THE VIDEO TAPE, he was going to anally rape me again unless I enjoyed it. 'Encouraging' 'regular sex' was the I only way I knew to keep myself safe from worse physical harm.
I would like to point out that my mum and BFF are two of the most supportive, well meaning people I know. But boy they say some stupid shit sometimes. As for my Dad...pfft. He's an emotionally devoid idiot.