I had been seeing this guy, I'll call him J... (and yes we'd been engaging in oral sex up to that point because of birth control issues), and we had plans for the weekend...we were gonna have vaginal sex because the birth control issues were handled, I had a big dinner planned and I was going to cook for him...and I was going to tell J what happened to me -- that I'd been repeatedly raped by a boyfriend I had lived with, who I will call him. After dinner, J dropped me off and was acting weird about our plans for the weekend, so I called him later that night. That's when J told me he didn't want to see me anymore. I was devastated, but not as much when, he said, "I think you've been raped...maybe more than once...and that's a lot to deal with." I asked him why he thought that and he said he'd picked up on a few things I'd said.
Why would J say something like that? There wasn't any need...J had already broke up with me and I'd accepted it. What was the point?
To make matters worse, I have been raped more than once -- two times I'd never told anyone about until I told my therapist after J's comments -- and repeatedly by A, who would also drug me and let people rape me for drugs and money. A would repeatedly tell me that no man would ever love me or want to be with once they knew what he (A) had done to me, and that I had nothing to offer a man but sex.
That's why I ended up going back to my therapist, J's words triggered my PTSD, and I started having nightmares, flashbacks and anxiety issues.
Edited by Cat5, 09 June 2010 - 07:31 AM.