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Afraid to post?

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#31 Guest__*

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Posted 11 January 2002 - 09:09 AM


When I first came here I was mortally afraid of posting. I felt that as a baby in healing I had no business offering my opinion. I felt that everyone was wiser than me, and I should just go away and forget about it. I also felt selfish and stupid for asking questions for myself, for reaching out with my own pain. When I did post I would check 456137 times a day, hoping that SOMEONE had resonded. I compared the number of responses that I received with others, and felt unwanted and unloveable.


This is EXACTLY how I felt when I first came here. Still do as a matter of fact. I just posted an "I AM BACK" post and it is all I can do to not whine to myself that only two people have noticed. I know in my head that it is NOT the case. But there is that little voice that says "well, I guess no one noticed you were even GONE". At least I know I am not alone and not stupid. :-)

It has been difficult to post here but I am so glad that I did it. I hope that your wonderful message will help others to learn that it is ok to post.

Thanks to you! You are a gem!
Michelle (who is glad to be back)

#32 Guest__*

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Posted 11 January 2002 - 12:28 PM

hey everyone,
wot an amazin post Aoife
it's great to read n no im not the only one gettin those feelings n beginnig to think they were stupid.

like u lilmonster, i've poted s few replies n that, but thats about all..

yesterday was a shit day
..... u no just one of those day's.....'m sure u all understand but any way, i wrote out this whole like post thing explaining the goings on etc, n the deleted it...
scared of judgement, difference of opinions etc as so many other have said....
it is soo reashuring to know we've so glad to besaidto have been welcomed into this 'family', wot i lvly phrase!

till i get more guts

lv to u all
Jo xxxxx

#33 Guest_Dolphindreamer_*

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Posted 11 January 2002 - 04:08 PM

Thank-you Aoife for starting this thread,
I've found it very helpful..

I get really scared of posting, I always think that anyone who reads it will think what on earth is she complaining about,and I always feel like my replies to peoples posts aren't good enough and that I'm not worthy of offering any thoughts

Even though I'm close to a few people,I still feel like a bit of an intruder here, like there are groups of people who are very close, (like Lollie mentions above)and that I am butting in..

but I feel so grateful for the support I have got here, it is a wonderful place, and I thank everyone for making it so wonderful


#34 hilary

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Posted 12 January 2002 - 02:03 PM

i just posted in the who are we? thread.  it wasn't exactly brief, tho. :)


#35 Guest__*

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Posted 03 August 2002 - 12:50 AM

Good point!

I definately was afraid to post at times. Alot of times, I don't have alot to say about things, or what I'm feeling. Sometimes, I'm feel that I have too much to say or that I'm burdening others with my problems or issues. The big one, for me, is that I always feel, when I'm reading the other posts, that somehow, what others have went through or what they happen to be feeling at the moment is more important or they need more attention(replies) and I'm just sitting here griping about something small, or that my problems are no big deal compared to someone else's. (Was that a run on sentence and a half or what? lol) But, all in all, I know that I'm just now starting on working my abuse issues. So it is going to take time, to feel better and everybody has issues that are important, but I think it mostly comes from what you think. (If that makes any sense)

#36 Louise

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Posted 17 September 2002 - 03:04 PM

Hey Bec

Welcome and I hope you'll share that voice with us!


Lou xxxx

#37 Guest__*

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Posted 05 October 2002 - 04:46 PM

Just seeing if this works and if I can do it. Hello from here.  Very nervous and unsure but here.Whoever reads this-Take care and be gentle.

#38 frenchie

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Posted 07 May 2003 - 05:50 PM

it seems I posted my ramblings in the wrong place,, again lol,,,,



#39 Guest__*

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Posted 06 September 2003 - 12:45 AM

i'm afraid to post too, i've only posted twice, but maybe now i'll find the courage to post.

#40 NotYetHealed

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Posted 03 January 2003 - 09:31 AM

I know for me that it is soooo much easier to reply to a post then it is for me to begin one with myself in mind.  I'm getting better at it, but it is still a challenge.  I think, at least for me, I feel much safer in replying and trying to support someone else because I have not ever been real good at self-care or nurturing.  However, I do find that in most of my replies I am giving that particular individual much of the same support/advice/nurturing as I would give myself if I could.  Does that make any sense?  So that in some way I am looking inward and giving myself support at the same time, just that I don't necessarily have to acknowledge it as being directed at "me".  It's my co-dependency shining through I suppose but I do get a pay off for replying and feeling that I have helped someone else.  


#41 Laney

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Posted 11 January 2002 - 09:22 AM


Thanks for this.  :)  Can you imagine with all the posts I start, there are alot I'm too afraid to?  :P  you should all be thankful that I'm afraid.  :) who wants to hear the rants, right?  So here I go off on a weird tangent.

There are so many times that I say to myself, no one cares what I think.  That edit feature is my best friend.

I'm so glad others feel the same way I do.  (What a relief)



#42 Guest__*

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Posted 11 January 2002 - 12:12 PM

I've posted a couple of replies to people but am still to scared to post about myself. To say that I don't feel worthy of anyone's love or affection is an understatement. Not to mention that I'm petrified that I'd be ignored or not welcome if I talked about myself. There's nothing more that I want to do than reach out. But I don't know how and don't know if I should.
Thanks for the thread, Aoife. No doubt I'll be checking this thread 456137 today!

#43 Guest__*

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Posted 11 January 2002 - 01:32 PM

Aoife I totally agree. When I first came here It was very hard to post, and I was always checking to see who replied to my post, wondering why some people didn't, wondering if people belived me. But now it's totally different. Posting can still be hard. Especially if it's personal. Like anything we say isn't personal. But if it's get's into real detail or topics that might be embarrassing, then it is still tough and even now I still feel like I am at a moments notice of being disregarded. But it never takes me long to realize how foolish I was for thinking that. Becuase everytime I have ever posted I've gotten the most amazing responses. And the amazing thing about them is that, I belive, they are filled with love. I don't worry anymore about the number of posts I get compared to the last post I made or to what someone else got. Becuase I know that here everyone belives me and wishes me the best:) I have been finding it especially hard to post on other peoples posts lately. I'm not sure why. I guess I just haven't had all that much to say. But the wonderful thing about this family is that there is always going to be someone who will be able to post and to know exactly where your coming from.


(Edited by natalie at 2:33 pm on Jan. 11, 2002)

#44 els

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Posted 12 January 2002 - 04:44 AM

Posting a reply to someone else... and especially when I write more the just "hugs"... I always think to myself "oh please Els, stop acting like you know it all, this is not what this person needs to hear from you, you don't have a monopoly on wisdom or something..." but then there's this other voice in me that says "Els, you just reply from your heart, when it's not what they want to or need to hear, or when you're totally wrong (and I guess I probably am more than half the time...) then people can just ignore you..."... so... after previewing like a zillion times I often manage to hit submit when writing a reply.

Writing a post for my own...
Well... there's two kinds of them I guess.
The first kind, I'm getting there. It's when I feel I just need to ramble a bit, let a few things out so I'm able to go about my daily stuff, like go to work or something. I just post to get it out of my system then, not even expecting many replies. I'm a bit ashamed when I do that, because it feels like... ermm... I don't know a word ... exploiting maybe...? all of you wonderful people that then just are basicly forced to hear me whine a bit :biggrin: because that's exactly how it feels then : I need to whine a bit about me, before I'm able to put myself aside and do what I have to do.

The second kind...
writing about my struggle... about what really hurts... about how weak I feel and the mistakes I've made. Hmmm... now there's another cup of tea... that small and hurt side of me... the part I'm really really ashamed of...
I'm very afraid to show that...
I'm convinced people will see me so differently, people won't like me anymore, think I'm a total loser... and people will think nothing I have to say has any value anymore.
That's how it is in my heart.
My head is currently yelling at me : hey you know better than that !
But... my heart doesn't know any better...

Now about all of my Pandy family posting...
:)                   :)                   :)
All of you
let me say that again


I love reading your posts ! I want you to post ! Please post ! Post ! Post ! Post !
I'm serious even if I don't seem to be right now. :)
What would a message board be without posts right?
Your post will be noticed. And you will be too.
I realize I don't reply to everything I read... I'm sorry. But you are noticed. And your Pandy family will walk along with you.
Also... sometimes your post will inspire others. And you will help them take a next step on their way to being free again.
You can do it, you are much stronger than I am ;)



#45 Guest_lea_*

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Posted 29 June 2002 - 07:24 AM

I'm new to the site and feel nervous posting too. I'm worried that people will think my opinons are wrong, or I'm afraid of saying the wrong thing to someone who needs support and that my words won't comfort them.

But as people respond with messages of hope and understanding, my confidence gets a tiny bit better, I think 'I can't be all that bad, no-one is upset with me'.

I'm used to giving my opinions in literature, as I studied the subject and read a lot, but with abuse, people's emotions are at stake, and I'm afraid I won't say the right things.

I guess that's why I re-read every word and think before submitting a message. But I don't let my nervousness stop me from posting, nothing bad's happened yet!!

Love lea.

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