Posting a reply to someone else... and especially when I write more the just "hugs"... I always think to myself "oh please Els, stop acting like you know it all, this is not what this person needs to hear from you, you don't have a monopoly on wisdom or something..." but then there's this other voice in me that says "Els, you just reply from your heart, when it's not what they want to or need to hear, or when you're totally wrong (and I guess I probably am more than half the time...) then people can just ignore you..."... so... after previewing like a zillion times I often manage to hit submit when writing a reply.
Writing a post for my own...
Well... there's two kinds of them I guess.
The first kind, I'm getting there. It's when I feel I just need to ramble a bit, let a few things out so I'm able to go about my daily stuff, like go to work or something. I just post to get it out of my system then, not even expecting many replies. I'm a bit ashamed when I do that, because it feels like... ermm... I don't know a word ... exploiting maybe...? all of you wonderful people that then just are basicly forced to hear me whine a bit :biggrin: because that's exactly how it feels then : I need to whine a bit about me, before I'm able to put myself aside and do what I have to do.
The second kind...
writing about my struggle... about what really hurts... about how weak I feel and the mistakes I've made. Hmmm... now there's another cup of tea... that small and hurt side of me... the part I'm really really ashamed of...
I'm very afraid to show that...
I'm convinced people will see me so differently, people won't like me anymore, think I'm a total loser... and people will think nothing I have to say has any value anymore.
That's how it is in my heart.
My head is currently yelling at me : hey you know better than that !
But... my heart doesn't know any better...
Now about all of my Pandy family posting...
:) :) :)
All of you
let me say that again
ALL OF YOU
I love reading your posts ! I want you to post ! Please post ! Post ! Post ! Post !
I'm serious even if I don't seem to be right now. :)
What would a message board be without posts right?
Your post will be noticed. And you will be too.
I realize I don't reply to everything I read... I'm sorry. But you are noticed. And your Pandy family will walk along with you.
Also... sometimes your post will inspire others. And you will help them take a next step on their way to being free again.
You can do it, you are much stronger than I am ;)