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#1 Guest__*

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Posted 24 June 2002 - 11:20 PM

That's a really intriguing question.  To me, courage is something inside all of us.  Sometimes we need other people or situational factors to help us see it.  In the situations where I don't care anymore, I think courage is easy to access because there's nothing getting in its way.



#2 Guest__*

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 12:51 AM

I think that courage is something that is inside of all of us but we don't always know it's there. It shows itself in meny ways that we might not even be aware of. Every day we wake up we are showing courage to live and go on and struggle. It's there when we need it the most and we can make it stronger the more we use it.

#3 linnea

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 06:54 AM

courage doesn't always look the way we tend to think of it.

courage can be getting up in the morning, getting dressed and doing what needs to be done...

courage can be looking beyond the stupid things people say and hanging on to what you know to be the Truth...

courage can be refusing to be dead inside and allowing yourself to feel the pain of our hurts and choosing to heal...

courage isn't always something people recognize from the outside, sometimes we don't recognize it ourselves.

(((((Natasha)))))


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Posted 25 June 2002 - 07:52 AM

As usual, Rain is a tough act to follow.

I think courage is so many things. I also think that we have it within ourselves but we also thrive off of others courage.

In my opinion, just surviving our traumas (whether it was 1 minute, one hour, one month, one year, or 10 years long) take a tremendous amount of courage. This courage is inside us and we don't even know it.

finding support in a place like this takes courage, even if you don't post. Posting takes even more courage. I know many of you don't see it that way but I do.

I find that I feed off the courage of others. I read something here that someone has done or said and I just get so inspired.

Nat, this is a great question. From what I have seen of you, you have the courage inside you. You are here after all. :)

Love,
Shell (who probably made no sense but oh well)


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Posted 25 June 2002 - 08:59 AM

Courage is doing things in the face of fear, it is not the absence of fear. we have all learned that our fears are valid, and every little thing we do in the face of those fears indicates great courage in all of us. i believe it is an innate quality, something that is sometimes buried deep inside. sometimes it is other people's courage and strength that helps and inspires us to find our own. some people are forced to rely on their inner strengths and courage more than other people. some of us grow accustomed to dipping into our store of courage every day, because we have to do that to have a Life, and a happy one at that! sometimes our supply of courage gets a little low, we have to dip into it so much, and when we feel ourselves feeling weak we can thrive off of the courage of others until we find our own strength again. i see this happening here at pandy's every day, it's wonderful. here, it's ok to lean on each other and borrow each other's courage, because we know we will be giving it at some point too.

the courage i see here amazes me and fills me with inspiration, makes me reach down deep for my own courage. and i always find it! it's there! :) and Nat, you have it too, but i will share mine with you whenever you need it.

take care,
amy


#6 Guest_nirvana oceans_*

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 10:41 AM

for me I think I find my courage out of love for others, I am not sure my self esteem has ever been great enough to do anyting scarey for myself, but when I became a mom, I started taking risks and doing things I was scared of for the good of my kids, so I guess I got courage from love:)

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 11:55 PM

Wow! You guys have blown me away with your answers (((((all)))) Ty you so much for responding with thought and compassion...I've gotten a lot out of this:)

love,
Natalie


#8 Donna

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Posted 27 June 2002 - 10:33 PM

Hmm lovely question Nat and a #### well good one.

To me what is courage?

To me...

Courage is actually alloing yourself to love yourself.

Courage is attempting to love others even you know that deep down some dont feel the same for you.

Courage is being able to stand your ground, alone. Even if you have ppl saying that they stand with you, to keep in your head that you are standing and if they leave oh well, your alone and thats okay and fine.

Courage is knowing how you feel, reconizing it from a time before and being able to <b>KNOW</b> that you can get by.

Courage is reaching out, even if you are scared shitless, just doing it anyways.

Courage is what stands and sits still within all of us. Every single person in here has courage, some just dont know it. To get by, to get through a trauma, to relive it, to nightmare/flashback/attack over it and still breathe the next day is courage.

Any truama is soo #### difficult, but to be able to withstand the pain even if crying for wks, well wow. Everyone has courage, including you miss Natalie, <b>EVERYONE.</b>

Look inside you...

((((((HUGS))))))

Donna =)


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Posted 16 April 2003 - 09:07 PM

For me, courage has meant facing my real feelings and being able to cope with them without doing something destructive... drinking, drugs, c*tting, etc. Allowing myself to feel the feelings and let the memories come without escaping or running. Being able to sit still and talk myself through a flashback. Being able to look at myself in a mirror and not say "I hate you" but "you are strong." Courage for a sexual abuse survivor? Moving from victim to survivor.

#10 Guest__*

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Posted 24 June 2002 - 11:13 PM

I'm not sure if this is the place to ask this or not... But I would like some pandys opinions on it.

Where do you think courage comes from? Is it something inside us...or is it something we find elsewhere? Does it come from being confident or is it something that is non existent and can only be reached when one just doesn't care anymore?

Nat


#11 Guest__*

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 12:31 AM

courage to me it means doing something that your totally afraid of doing but doing anyway because it needs to be done.

Now where it comes from I don't really know.  I think we all have some inside us but I reach outside myself for it too.  I know that the ladies here have given me the courage to do things I couldn't have done with out help.  I think I also absore it from my dogs...they are all so brave all have been abandoned and abused but still have it in them to trust, love and be happy again and to things for me.  LOL Someday when I grow up I want to be like my dogs :)


#12 Monika

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 05:04 AM

I think courage is innate, inside each one of us. I used to define it as feeling confident while you do something difficult or scary, but I don't know that confidence really has anything to do with it. I think courage is also when you feel scared shitless but you take the risk anyway. Courage is sitting with difficult feelings and being gentle with yourself--not hurting yourself in anyway. Courage is finding words for what is unspeakable. Courage is standing up for yourself even when you feel unsure and waver. Courage is when you make yourself go to therapy b/c you know you need it even when you are tired and want to quit. It's persevering in situations and life. There are so many examples and definitions. It was courageous of you to ask the question b/c I'm guessing part of you is worried that you might find out it is something you lack. Taking that risk in and of itself is courageous. Risking sharing vulnerable parts of yourself after you've been hurt and betrayed--something you do here often--takes tremendous courage. You have it, sweetheart, rest assured. We don't always feel it or recognize it, but it's there.

Take gentle care,
Rain


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Posted 25 June 2002 - 08:17 AM

there are 5 different rhythms in life, each one relates to a season of life, etc.  Each rhythm has a sustaining emotion and a stress emotion, strengths, weaknesses, and lessons, health issues etc.  We have one primary rhythm, and the ones before and after also influence us a great deal, and we have 2 that are not as dominant in our lives.
Winter is courage, or fear, and resides in the kidney and bladder meridian...kidney fear is more yin, bladder is more yang- terror
Spring is liver and gall bladder, anger/rage and righteous anger/ assertiveness, boundaries
summer is passion joy or panic  heart, Small intestine, Heart Protector and triple warmer
Solsitce/equinox- happens whenever the seasons change for 2 weeks, is compassion or lack of sympathy for self
Fall is reflection or grief.  large intestine and lung

To nourish your destiny is to be able to experience the full range of emotional responses.  When a human has been traumatized, they often get stuck on one gear, flooding is being stuck in grief. I don't know if any of you saw that guy Andrew, the lawyer from New York who defends children, when he was on the Oprah show - he was trying to tell her that she has not accesssed her righteous anger, she feels sympathy for her abuser.  
The story of the wizard of Oz is a metaphor- did you lose your heart (passion summer) or your courage, or your brain? etc. The quote by Albert Camus- "In the midst of winter, I finally realized there was in me an invincible summer" is remembering your passion for what you love.
Winnie the Pooh also hs the characters- although there is some disagreement over who is who , but each charcter represents a part of yourself.
Tigger is passion joy vs. Eyore who is grief no matter what they can't getin touch with each other's feelings.  There is a great movie where Tigger loses his bounce, they ar all mad at him becasue he is too enthusiastic. That is the story of many abused children.  They are robbed of the rhythm they were born to manifest, and to nourish theri destiny they have to find it.  Like, finding your voice and speaking your anger, etc.        
In Donna Eden's book Energy Medicine she explains how to test yourself for the rhythms, and how to do exercises to balance your energy.  
http://www.members.o...m.au/~5element/
is a lovely website.
Personally , I believe that over the next 5 years we are going to be looking to the east - yoga etc to learn how to heal trauma.
light to you,
courage is your birthright
sister moon
 


#14 els

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Posted 25 June 2002 - 08:47 AM

That's really a very interesting Nat !  Thank you for that !

For me courage is connected to love and to fear. I think those two might be the main sources.

Connected to love because I think love is the source of courage, or one of them. It is the love we feel for life or a person or ourselves, that inspires us to be brave I think.

Connected to fear, because it is in moments of fear that we need courage. I'm too lazy (sorry for that)to go looking in all the quotes in looked up for Grrl Survivors, but one of them is something like: Courage is not the absence of fear, but acting in spite of it.
I think that is very true...

I'm sure this question will stay with me for a while.

Els.


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Posted 25 June 2002 - 10:28 AM

(((((Nat)))))

I'm not sure I have anything to add to these definitions of courage, but I do know that you are one of the most courageous people I know.  While I'm at it.. you're also beautiful, funny, wise, strong, compassionate and just plain amazing.

I love you,

Kristy.



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