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Who Deserves to Be Here?


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#76 Belladonic-haze

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 04:52 AM

<font color='#000000'>*T* for those words.<p>I see so many people questioning Do I Deserve to Be Here?  Let's settle this.<p>If someone has sexually assaulted you, you deserve to be here.  <p>If it was attempted rape, you deserve to be here.  <p>If it wasn't rape, if it was unwanted and inappropriate touching, you deserve to be here.<p>If you are a man who has been sexually assaulted, you deserve to be here.<p>If it happened ten or twenty or thirty years ago, you deserve to be here.<p>If it was incest, you deserve to be here.<p>If you barely remember it, you deserve to be here.<p>If you were sexually harrassed, you deserve to be here.<p>If you are someone who supports, you deserve to be here.<p>That's all there is to it.  <p>I've seen a few people who have the feelings that their rape was not a particularly "bad rape".  My rape was not a particularly violent rape I was only concious of being raped for about one second and when I realized I was being raped, my boyfriend handed my rapists ass to him.  My rapist was the only one who got hurt.  <p>It didn't make any difference to me.  I had still been raped.  It still hurt on the inside.  I deserve to be here.<p>The degree of the rape, abuse, assault doesn't matter.  We feel many of the same feelings.  And we all deserve to be here and to help and to be helped.<p>I think that everyone will agree with me, so I'll get off my soap box now.<p>Thanks for reading.<p>Mistral
Mistral is now Jes</font>


AMEN!!

#77 auz

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 06:05 AM

It's sad to think so many people "deserve" to be here.

#78 Bubby

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 06:13 AM

It is, you're right.

But it would be sadder to think people who needed this place were turned away because they didn't meet some criterion or other. I think that's what's great about this thread, it reminds us that the experience of rape and abuse can't be evaluated by checking five boxes out of nine or whatever.

#79 Belladonic-haze

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Posted 26 September 2006 - 09:05 AM

It's sad to think so many people "deserve" to be here.


Whoaw, I haven't realized that when I read the title....you're right! No-one "deserves" to be here. If we were save in this world there was no need for these forums........ :down: :(

Yes, it's very sad. Thank you of pointing out the way it is said, although I believe it was not meant that way.....

#80 Tamuril

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Posted 30 September 2006 - 02:50 PM

Wow, this thread was so helpful to me last night... while I was crying, telling my friend that this "stupid website won't help me, I've looked at it before", and trying to find a thread to prove my point, I found this thread. There was about 5 minutes of silence while I read the thread, and then I said timidly, "Well... it might be kind of helpful. I guess I'll give it a try. Maybe I just read the wrong threads the last time I was here."

I joined 30 minutes later. ;)

#81 Bubby

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Posted 30 September 2006 - 03:46 PM

(((Sara)))

I'm really glad you decided to join :)

I hope you can find the help you need here, in this wonderful and warm community.

love Bubby

#82 Tamuril

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Posted 30 September 2006 - 10:33 PM

Yes, it really is warm and caring. :) Most of the reactions I had gotten outside of here ranged from:

helplessness and worry about my safety (because of destructive habits)-- mostly my good friends :)

treating me like a slut and not wanting me around children

polite disinterest

telling me to repent for not resisting/telling anyone

... and a whole host of other unpleasant ones.

however, dry1st and another friend (who isn't a survivor, surprisingly enough) have mostly treated me like a person who's just struggling with some things. :) And that's what this community is more like.

#83 nicole9207

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Posted 10 March 2007 - 05:07 PM

I agree............i work w survivors every day and what makes me so angry is that the justice system sometimes decides which case is bad enough to be tried. UGGGGGGGGGGG...........if you said NO and didnt want it............you deserve to be here!!!!!!!!!!!!

#84 boogies_mommy

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Posted 11 November 2007 - 11:47 PM

Thank you for this....to help remind me after all the times i question myself.

#85 suzystillindarkness

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Posted 17 May 2008 - 11:47 PM

Unfortunately, I also "deserve" to be here. I don't want to be. But I am.


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