Posting this a reply because I can't start a new thread. Much to learn!
I'm new here (I guess that's somewhat obvious)and posted a couple of replies and comments. As I don't have access to the parts of the board where stories and such can be posted I'll give a brief and spoilered self-intro here.
I am, unfortunatly not unusual in being a male survivor of r*pe and s*xual ab*use. I'm now 36 and have been survivng for about five years. From the time I was 14 until I was 31 I was mostly just existing.
The ab*se started when I was seven and continued until we moved when I was 14. The perpetrator was a neighbor, 15 years older than me, much larger and stronger than me. He ab*sed me regularily for that period of time.
Recovery is difficult, and full recovery may not be possible- that is I cannot ever regain the child and the person that was me... but that does not make things hopeless. It is still possible to grow, and though I will never be 'who I might have been', I am at the point now where I 'am who I am', and have, for the first time in my life the hope of becoming 'who I WILL be'. My life is slowly, but surely becoming mine.
I, like many survivors, was very alone out here in the world. Places like this forum have changed that. From 14 to 31 I wanted just one person to understand. Now I know that there are many who do. *NEVER* underestimate what YOUR COURAGE in posting in this forum has done for so many of us. You have helped make a connection, helped so many of us who were silenced with shame, embarrassment, fear and anger to find our voices, and to use them. The inspiration is powerful, comforting, and healing.
There is a form of music known as the Blues, a form I love. The Blues are a lot like survival. They have the right attitude. No matter how bad it gets everything will work out in the end. It's not music about the bad times and the sad times. It's music about surviving them, making the best of what you have, and using that to make things better. It's a recipe for making lemonade out of life's lemons, about 'making it through' and finding the good times.
We generally have two things in common: 1) We have survived the worst things that other people can do to us, and 2) We help each other with the best things that other people (to each other we are other people) can do for us. We share our hurts and oddly comfort others by doing so.
What was done to us has caused terrible damage and suffering, but it has done one other thing; it has made us aware of that suffering in others and caused us to reach out. In all the damage and mayhem that our lives have become, these horrible events have also brought out the best in all of us. Survival takes strength, and though so many here don't feel strong you are. You made it this far. You've read, and maybe you've posted. You might look at others and wonder how they do it, how they survive and help each other. I can tell you. It's the same way you're doing it now. You are stronger than you think. You will introduce yourself when you are ready. You will share your experiences when you are ready. You will be comforted when you are ready.
I keep a ready supply of hugs handy. I don't give them out- they're much to precious, but I do lend them out with abandon. Remeber though, I might need one of 'em back someday.
Be you. And be proud to be you.