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#1 kmcardet

  • kmcardet

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Posted 19 October 2010 - 09:40 PM

I understand that the "Chat" room is the ELITE of Pandora's Aquarium. My question is this: Why would I want to be a part of the "Chat?" Is it so special that I will be healed immediately? Will it help me to grow, learn, forgive and forget?

I think not. I just wondered why it's so special to P. A. and should I really attempt to be a part of that special "Chat?"

No. I think not. PA helps me to know I'm not alone in my painful memories, but ultimately, I will always be alone in coping with the monsters who haunt me in my dreams and memories.

Therefore, do I really need to aspire to be a part of the "Chat?"

Pandora's A. makes me feel like I have to do so.

I'm happy to be invisible. I'm happy to be a nobody. With all my heart, I wish no one ever noticed me,ever; then it may never have happened.

Just explain to me why the "Chat" is so special and is it okay that I don't want to be involved in the "Chat" community?

#2 Kate

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Posted 20 October 2010 - 01:08 AM

Hi kmcardet,

We all have our own ways of healing, and our own ways of interacting of the board. I'm not sure what has given you the impression that the prime focus of Pandy's is the chat room, because it certainly isn't! Our focus is creating a healing and comfortable environment for members to reach out to each other for support, whether that be in the chat room in on the board itself. It's more than okay if you aren't interested in chatting and prefer to post on the board. It's okay if you only want to read other people's posts, or if you want to post ten times a day. It's okay if you never, ever want to post or chat on the board! Use this board the way that feels best for you. Some members love the real-time environment of the chat room, while other members, myself included, very rarely use the chat room and prefer the different kind of responses you get when you put a post up instead and members have time to think and formulate a reply to you.

I'm concerned that you feel pushed into using the chat room, because that has never been our intent - if you could be so kind as to point us to where you have felt pressured to use the chat room we'd greatly appreciate it so we can rectify the misunderstanding. If you have any questions about this, or would like any further clarification please do let us know - and keep on reaching out on the board as much as you are comfortable with!

Take gentle care,

#3 Sasha

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Posted 20 October 2010 - 05:22 AM

Hi kmcardet,

As Kate said there is no pressure for you to join the chat room, while we do have a lot of chatters there are also many members who prefer the board and that's fine. Chat isn't the main focus of PA it's just another part of it. Some people love chatting they like being able to talk with other survivors or joke around but if you would like to just use the board to read or to post that's perfectly ok. PA is here to try to help with healing in anyway the memeber feels is best for them. If you ever have any questions or concerns about chat dont be afraid to pm one of the chat moderators or one of the board mods. WE want you to feel safe here with no pressure to do anything you aren't comfortable with.


#4 SurvivingTheStorm

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Posted 20 October 2010 - 03:19 PM

Nobody is obligated to use the chat room. It's totally optional. :)

I've been a member of this board for almost four years, and I've only started using the chat room consistently in the past couple of months. Some people don't use chat at all. Some people chat all the time. And some people do both like I do.

Anyways, you can either use the chat room or not. The choice is up to you.

Take care.

#5 Sadie

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Posted 21 October 2010 - 01:58 PM

Hi kmcardet

I almost never use the chat function, it's not something that works for me. We all have different ways of working through things and healing, some people find dance therapy really hurts but others find it useless: it's the same with chat. It's OK to not be a part of the community, it's a wonderful and expertly run resource for people who suit that style of healing but if it's not for you that's OK. It's not the elite, it's just another part of our wonderful community and I'm sorry if anybody has given you the impression that it's something you have to be part of. Could you let us know who or what has made you feel that way so that we can resolve it?

I'm glad that Pandy's has made you feel less alone and hope that you're finding it useful. Remember that if you ever have any issues or questions you can contact a member of staff for help :)


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.