Pandora's Aquarium: From: Relapsed...hate the feeling it gives me. - Pandora's Aquarium

Jump to content

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.


I am new to this website and I have been looking for one that I know I can go to and finally get some of the stuff that I carry in my head finally out so that maybe it isn't such a burden anymore.

I have went for a almost a year without hurting myself but today I failed that....I failed in the worst way I cut again. I have fought the urge many times in the past months and just don't understand why I fell back into that black hole? Why did it take me over again, why did I let the urge win this time. The worst part wasn't the act in itself it was that I had to see my girlfriends face when I told her what I did and she had such high hopes that I would never hurt myself again; this is the first time since we have been together that I hurt myself but sadly I can not tell her it will be the last but it did push me to the edge and I knew I needed to get help that I need to talk to someone about whats in my head to finally start to let out the feelings that I have that I cant always keep them bottled up inside me because when I do I always end up losing the battle. Even though I know these things even though I know that its wrong I still give in, I still let this urge control me even when I try so hard not to. I just wish I knew why I did it again. My life is finally getting back on track..why would I want to do that besides the past coming up to haunt me, and the nightmares, I thought I could control myself. Not only did I fail myself I have failed the woman I love. The worst part being is I don't know if I will lose this same fight again. I am trying to make a new start, trying to regain my life so that I may make it better. It just seems that I may end up hitting rock bottom before I get there. Sorry about being "Debbie downer" but I just cant seem to shake it today.

Angela

Source: Relapsed...hate the feeling it gives me.
 

0 Comments On This Entry

May 2013

S M T W T F S
   1234
567891011
12131415161718
19202122 23 2425
262728293031 

Recent Entries

My Blog Links

Recent Comments

Categories


Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. is not intended to be a substitute for professional assistance. All members and visitors are encouraged to establish a relationship with a trained counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist. Pandora's Aquarium, Inc. offers rape and sexual abuse survivor-to-survivor support only. Despite any qualifications staff or members possess, they are not engaged in a professional relationship with any other member. Survivors in crisis are urged to seek local help by contacting 911 or their local rape crisis center. Use of this website constitutes acceptance of the Terms of Service located here.