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It is time to cast them out. The voices, the parents from my head. I need this miracle to happen. I know that it is not a one time, take this pill and it is all over type of thing. Although, I have to admit, I wish it was. I am tired of fighting and going to counselling, doing expressive art etc. I am just damn tired. But, I want to be healthy. I deserve to have a body that is happy and free. And, if I can only say this once, here, anonymously...I just want to tell my body thank you for surviving all the abuse....the sexual, physical and even the emotional. Yes, my mind shattered into many different people. But, I am proud of all of us. I am proud of the fact that we survived. The body is in its forties and it is still working! I still have eyes and hands and two legs that can carry me around. I can still feel the softness of my cat as I cradle him in my arms. yes, there is so much loss. But, I am no longer waiting for the miracle. I am going to make it happen.