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Testing out my blog!

Posted by lmvjohnson , 09 April 2013 · 143 views

I'm not sure where to write down my feelings and what is going on with me or whom I should share it with... have a T she is really nice but there are tonnes of things I don't talk to her about, so maybe I'll start here...

At the moment I feel nothing, it's really weird, I would of thought that after all the pain I've felt for so long, it would of been a blessed relief to feel nothing... But it's not actually and I'm not sure what to make of it or if anybody else has had this before? I can't even tell you what started it off? I was ill for 4 days and then I just felt nothing, I really just don't care any more? My birthday was yesterday and as per usual my family did nothing to celebrate it, I'm not asking for much just a card a happy birthday and a little something to open, just to let me know that somebody has thought about me on my special day. So as I was on my way to feeling hurt, my mind said you don't need it - so the I don't care it doesn't matter popped into my head and the feeling of 'nothing' continued. So I seem to be distant from everybody including myself, I have a weird out of body thing going on all the time like I am having to push myself to do stuff, like I'm controlling another persons body. Anyway the ramblings have begun :) Here's hoping I can sort myself out as my T is still on holiday for another week!

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