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Posted by missophelia , 10 January 2013 · 62 views

Obstacles to my healing...

urges to SI
inability to create
the way I feel, and think, and believe, about myself

Obviously a list of things I need to work on.

I haven't been on medications in just about a year. Dr K and I talked about that at my last session. She has been, and is, very concerned about me. Just a quick catch up.

I have been very depressed, and mixed in with that, I have had some absolutely horrid panic/anxiety attacks, over the past almost 4 weeks. I don't know if it was just the holidays? It's all still there, so I'm not sure about how much the holidays have contributed to how I've been feeling.

I spent a few nights on the hotline chatline. That's how bad it's been. Because I NEVER call or connect online with the hotline. But the waves of anxiety sweeping over me with sudden overwhelmingness, that prompted me to call.

I have also come close to SI'ing, and also to buying a quantity of pills.

Come close.

Anyway, Dr K thinks meds may be a way for me to work on combating the depression and anxiety. Although I am hesitant to start taking meds again, I told Dr K I would at least sit down with a psychiatrist and talk about it.

The other things on my list are things I will have to just chip away at. Even if it's as slowly as I can manage. But I can at least try.

There is a quote I'd like to include here.

"I can see no failure in trying. The only failure I see is in not trying at all."

So, yeah, I can at least try.

BTW, those words of wisdom were penned by....missophelia :)

Jan 12 2013 09:42 AM
You are right - the only failure is in not trying. And you have definitely been trying and continue to try, despite how difficult it is.

I hope you can find some sort of medication solution that you can feel comfortable with. The right medication will give you some relief from all these symptoms, and will help you. I am glad you aren't ruling it out.

Keep reaching out :hug:
Jan 12 2013 01:14 PM

Thanks, and I will try to keep reaching out.


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    Blog Warning

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