Help
I didn't report it. The man was a stranger to me, to my family. I tried telling my friend, but she thought I was lying. Right now, only three people know. I don't know where he is now, he isn't part of my life anymore, but I am still afraid he will show up again.
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You didn't report it... Are you responsible if he does it again?
#92
- Group: Member
- Posts: 1,318
- Joined: 16-April 11
Posted 03 June 2011 - 05:49 PM
I was 15 and didn't report it. I was afraid nobody would believe me so I tried to pretend it didn't happen. Then 2 years later I found out he did it to my little sisters friend aswell. I cannot describe the guilt I feel and although I know I'm not responsible for his actions I don't think I will ever be able to fully forgive myself for allowing it to happen to her. God knows how many other girls he's done it to too. If I found out he did it to someone before me I wouldn't blame them yet I won't forgive myself....what a mess :angry:/>
#94
Posted 15 July 2011 - 01:35 PM
I was just recently molested by a guy I grew up with. He was always so nice and I had liked him for a while so when he started kissing me I didn't fight it. It was only when he started wanting more and getting rough that I started fighting back. I still haven't reported it because i feel like he's going to show ou messages where I was flirting and people are going to think that I wanted it.
#95
- Group: Member
- Posts: 197
- Joined: 06-February 10
Posted 16 July 2011 - 06:45 AM
I didn't report it. He was my then-partner and I knew I wouldn't be believed then (it happened 15 years ago) - proving it would be almost impossible now, particularly as I've suppressed much of the detail. There was (and still is) absolutely no way I could go through a trial, I just couldn't deal with it mentally and physically.
I still feel guilty - but I know his actions are not my responsibility.
Utmost respect to those who do report and do go to court - you are braver and stronger than I could ever be.
I still feel guilty - but I know his actions are not my responsibility.
Utmost respect to those who do report and do go to court - you are braver and stronger than I could ever be.
#96
Posted 25 July 2011 - 12:14 PM
Report it. Yes. The first time. The police blamed me for what happened even though he was a repeat offender. They had pictures of him spanning several years and different hairstyles and types of facial hair. They never tried to catch him.
The second time. Why? So I could be blamed again. I don't think so.
The third time. No way. I married him. Before we married, he used coercion. On our honeymoon, he would climb and and start while I was still asleep. The one time I told him "No" he choked me and took what he wanted. I never did say no again, about anything. But if it was my fault before, it must have been my fault then as well.
Was my thinking flawed? Oh, yes. Looking back, I should have called the police weekly to see if they had caught him yet. They might not have given up so easily. The second was a pedophile. He deserved to be hung by the privates. My husband? That's over, too. And he still says he is innocent.
Am I to blame for the first one's repeats. No. It was his choice to enter homes for the purpose of assaulting women. If anyone is to blame other than him, it is the system that allowed him to continue when he had a long time history of unlawful entry with assault.
The second. No. But I wish I had reported him anyway.
The third. He never had to use force again. After choking me to near unconsciousness, and telling me to never tell him "no" again, I never said no again. But having sex to prevent violence is not the same as consensual sex. Took me years to figure out I had been raped for decades.
The second time. Why? So I could be blamed again. I don't think so.
The third time. No way. I married him. Before we married, he used coercion. On our honeymoon, he would climb and and start while I was still asleep. The one time I told him "No" he choked me and took what he wanted. I never did say no again, about anything. But if it was my fault before, it must have been my fault then as well.
Was my thinking flawed? Oh, yes. Looking back, I should have called the police weekly to see if they had caught him yet. They might not have given up so easily. The second was a pedophile. He deserved to be hung by the privates. My husband? That's over, too. And he still says he is innocent.
Am I to blame for the first one's repeats. No. It was his choice to enter homes for the purpose of assaulting women. If anyone is to blame other than him, it is the system that allowed him to continue when he had a long time history of unlawful entry with assault.
The second. No. But I wish I had reported him anyway.
The third. He never had to use force again. After choking me to near unconsciousness, and telling me to never tell him "no" again, I never said no again. But having sex to prevent violence is not the same as consensual sex. Took me years to figure out I had been raped for decades.
This post has been edited by threetimes: 25 February 2012 - 10:41 AM
#97
Posted 25 July 2011 - 01:45 PM
i didnt report and have felt guilty off and on about it but i knew i wouldnt be believed for several reasons.
i am really glad to see a topic like this.
i am really glad to see a topic like this.
#98
Posted 27 July 2011 - 08:55 AM
I didn't report it. I wish I would have said something sooner to somebody. May be I would have started to heal sooner if I had done so.
#99
Posted 14 December 2011 - 02:16 PM
:angry:/> :angry:/> I don't and am not reporting it because I don't feel I need to and because I am making my own choices...for myself. I am angry that the hospital tried to make me I ma angry that no one really understands why other than my boyfriend though I think he still wants me to cause he keeps asking why not?so here I am saying it again I don't need to I don't want to and I am not going to!!! Would someone just please take that seriously?
#100
Posted 24 October 2012 - 01:43 AM
I understand. I was raped by someone I know in 2004. I have been on and off talking to a therapist with the va. They evidently submitted me for ptsd sexual trauma without warning me first. I felt betrayed but yet still had to relive everything. I blanked out on the name of the person who did this to me and later figured it out. My husband found out I can still press charges on the man and said I should make him pay. I can talk to close friends and family about it but not very well with others. I dont want to be scrutinized about it or judged. I know I could have been smarter about my decisions back then and how I handled it. I cant change the past. I cant handle the judgments on my poor decisions I do it on my own still. No one will change my decision it is mine alone the one thing I control.
