The Silent One is more prominant
I came home, and after checking in with my teens, went out on my bike. Since The Bad Parent terrified me so much, I have not checked back on my house of Mand's. I have been too scared. So today, I thought I would use my ride as a safe chance to see what was happening. And sat, at the front door, was the Silent One. She was sucking her thumb and twiddling her hair, and she is just sitting there, staring at me. She is on her own. I have not gone in search of the others. I am just standing at a distance, staring at her. And she is silently staring back at me. And I don't know what she wants. I do not feel that she wants me to go to her, to hug her. She is trying to communicate something with me, but I don't know what.
I recognise now that my T has been planting certain seeds in my head. No doubt to see which ones grow. There are 2 that stick in my mind. One I have already talked about - about alcohol and sex. The other.....I can't even type. I can feel my belly knotting. I can feel my breath getting quicker. My brow tightening. I can not go there. Going there is going to the Silent One. And she is scaring me.