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Well I don't know. Maybe coz I skipped way too much school in the last 2 weeks...I can't think, can't eat, can't get out of my bed because of headaches and flashbacks, throwing up and nose bleeds. I don't know how school is. I think it's still where it was 2 weeks ago and doin' pretty well- doin' definitely much better than I am.
I was wondering today if when you see someone drowning but not screaming for help do you let him drown? Do you let him drown just because he's drowning silently and then you think well it's his choice? In that case he deserves it? Deserves to be left alone and drown in his own chaos? Or do you make the effort and look in his eyes, you see the amount of pain he is in and you say here, take my hand I'll help you. Sometimes you have to say it over and over again to make him believe your words. Are you gonna spend your time on doing it or do you turn your back on him?
Maybe the reason why he's not screaming is coz his mouth is already full of water. Or maybe he has never learned how to scream for help? Maybe his eyes and face say more than words, more than screams...
I've never learned how to scream for help. Am I being punished for this by being left alone in the very middle of my own chaos? Being unseen and unheard. Misunderstood and hurt.
How much easier would it all be if I could say: Help me. Please.
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