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The Letter

Posted by litakino , 24 October 2010 · 82 views

Ok, here it is.

Dear C---,

I don't know if you will ever read this. I hope you do someday. But this is more for me than for you.

First of all, I am sorry I got mad at you about the FB thing and how I misunderstood when you turned your phone off or silent or whatever and didn't answer my calls. Maybe that played into your decision not to communicate with me when you initially said you still wanted to talk and text. By the way, what is up with that, why say that and then cut me out? Maybe you felt I was too unstable, I don't know. I had a lot of things hit me all at once, the perfect emotional storm, so to speak. It's sad for you if that's the reason you cut off communication. You see, that's what bothers me most, saying one thing and then doing another. Especially when you knew I was having a hard time.

You said you wanted to "simplfy your life." When we were talking about it, you sounded really angry. Like when I said I was worried that you would burn out, and you said you had already burnt out, you sounded mad. Are you mad at me? You said you had no time to date. Well, we were friends first, I still wanted that. Maybe you couldn't handle all my problems, which, I grant you, are a lot to deal with. I know you have problems of your own. But shutting me out like that really hurt. Even just telling me straight out not to call or text would have been better.

You see, the main part that hurts so much is that you helped me through some really tough stuff. D---- told you about the abuse himself, I couldn't hide it from you. You taught me how to trust again. You gave me back so much of what D---- had taken from me. I will try to hold on to that as I go forward. I am grateful for the time we had together.

But I am really mad at you for shutting me out when I really needed a friend. Nobody else was available to me at that time, I was completely alone! I handled a really bad trigger event all by myself and I did it, but I'm mad. You said you would always be on my side but when it came down to it, I guess you couldn't handle it!

I am proud of you for trying to pull yourself together and do what you need to do with your life. "Simplifying" or whatever. I just wish you didn't feel the need to simplify me right out of it. If you contact me in the future I think I will still be your friend. But I am really mad right now. So, good luck, I hope all this works out for you like you think it will.

Your friend,


Oct 25 2010 04:14 AM
I read every single word. Tears...but for your today, (((hugs))) if you accept them
ty :)

July 2016

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