Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.
You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.
You didn't report it... Are you responsible if he does it again?
Posted 06 April 2011 - 07:40 PM
Posted 03 June 2011 - 05:49 PM
Posted 15 July 2011 - 01:35 PM
Posted 16 July 2011 - 06:45 AM
I still feel guilty - but I know his actions are not my responsibility.
Utmost respect to those who do report and do go to court - you are braver and stronger than I could ever be.
Posted 25 July 2011 - 12:14 PM
The second time. Why? So I could be blamed again. I don't think so.
The third time. No way. I married him. Before we married, he used coercion. On our honeymoon, he would climb and and start while I was still asleep. The one time I told him "No" he choked me and took what he wanted. I never did say no again, about anything. But if it was my fault before, it must have been my fault then as well.
Was my thinking flawed? Oh, yes. Looking back, I should have called the police weekly to see if they had caught him yet. They might not have given up so easily. The second was a pedophile. He deserved to be hung by the privates. My husband? That's over, too. And he still says he is innocent.
Am I to blame for the first one's repeats. No. It was his choice to enter homes for the purpose of assaulting women. If anyone is to blame other than him, it is the system that allowed him to continue when he had a long time history of unlawful entry with assault.
The second. No. But I wish I had reported him anyway.
The third. He never had to use force again. After choking me to near unconsciousness, and telling me to never tell him "no" again, I never said no again. But having sex to prevent violence is not the same as consensual sex. Took me years to figure out I had been raped for decades.
This post has been edited by threetimes: 25 February 2012 - 10:41 AM
Posted 14 December 2011 - 02:16 PM
Posted 24 October 2012 - 01:43 AM