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I was down the beach drinking with friends. Bohemium Rhapsody came on and I got really triggered by the words. I sat there for a while just quietly whilst everyone else sang the next few songs. I said I needed to go to the toilet and left. Instead of going to the toilet, i went down onto the beach and just looked out to sea. about 10 mins later, Holly came down.
She said I seemed a little upset and wanted to check on me.
She asked me how she could help and I said by killing me.
I told her how much trouble I was having coping and she reached out and gave me a hug.
the next thing I knew, I was crying on her shoulder and she was saying stuff to me.
she said that there isn't anything that I could say that would make her think any less of me and kept telling me that i could talk to her.
i talked for a bit about the memories always coming up and she was like I know how hard it was for me and I can't imagine how much worse it must have been for you.
we were down on the beach for about 20 mins before I was up to going back up to the caravan.
as much as dealing with this has floored me, i never imagined I would get any real support, not after my other attempts to tell. I am just in total awe that someone is interested in actually helping me. I feel like a dog that has just been rescued from death row.