We felt it could be helpful to provide some clarification on this guideline, specifically focussing on this guideline in relation to the discussion of any acts of violence or abuse carried out by members.
Talking about violence / retribution?
It is not permissible to use Pandy's to disclose any acts of violence you have directed against another person. This includes violent acts carried out in the past or present, or which are planned for sometime in the future. Whilst we understand that you may have a very valid and genuine reason for being very angry at someone, assaulting another person remains a criminal offense.This includes acts of retribution directed towards your perp.
At Pandy's, we do encourage you to explore and express your feelings in a manner that promotes healing and personal growth. Therefore, it is fine to say, for example. "I feel very angry because of x, y, and z", but not "I am so angry I'm going to k*ll him".
Discussing the abuse of others
We are aware that some sexual violence survivors may have engaged in the abuse of others. We do understand that this is a complex area and we are mindful of the reasons why some survivors go on to abuse others. However, discussions concerning your abuse of others is not permitted here as we wish the focus of this site to be the survivor and healing as a survivor. We recommend that any discussion of this type is reserved for the therapy room where you will be able to receive the support and understanding you need in order to move forward.
There is an exception to this rule, and this is where a survivor has been forced into the abuse of another as part of their own abuse. Abusers may seek to guarantee your silence by making you feel complicit in the abuse of another person. Please remember that forced participation remains the responsibility of the person forcing you to carry it out. Please note that graphic details, even regarding forced participation, may be edited at the discretion of the moderators.
The following existing threads may be useful:
Being forced to watch sexual assault.
What happens if these guidelines are not adhered to?
- If details are disclosed regarding a past or future crime, the moderators may need to report these details to an appropriate legal authority. Therefore, it is largely for your own protection that we ask this of you
- Any post which contains illegal activity will be edited / deleted
- Discussion of criminal activity in chat may result in a warning / suspension from the chatroom
- Recurrent infractions can result in suspension / banning from the board; Moderated posts when posting; Disabling of pm privileges.