dangling....

Donna Mae DePola - Guest Speaker Chat ...May 25th 2013 ... for more information please read this!

There is still plenty of time and spaces if you'd like to sign up for the Guest Speaker Chat scheduled for this Saturday!

Welcome to Pandora's Aquarium, a rape, sexual assault, and sexual abuse survivor message board and chat room.
If you've been a victim of any type of sexual violence, you belong here. What you see below represents just a fraction of the resources and survivor support available. Register now to join our community and take full advantage of what this online support group has to offer you as you heal and recover, or sign in to remove this message.

You are not alone, we can support you as you heal, and you've made an important step toward recovery by reaching out. If you are unable to register or have any questions, please contact the staff or view our home page.

dangling....

16 January 2013

Posted by bellaroo

I hate being so pessimistic about things but this how my life has been...ive had one good day where I slept fantastic and but today is just absolutely awful....started at 2am with the most awful dream ive ever had, I woke up with a huge panic attack. The dream consisted of my molester strapped me into a chair and repeating everything he had done to me from age 6-15...the people that I care about doing what he would do....if he touched my genitals...they would touch my genitals.. When will this ever stop? I just cant take much more...I have dreams so bad that I cant wake myself up from them. I wish I could snap my fingers and make all this go away. I really feel so shitty today...this is the worst ive felt in a long time. I also think that everything is setting in with the two deaths Ive delt with. hopefully this is just a fluke day and I can have a better day tomorrow...

I feel like I need to care more... show the people around me that I love them...Im so worried they are just going to get tired of dealing with all my problems and they will leave...tonight pattis back was killing her...I should've been helping her more...what the hell is wrong with me? I need to show them I care...I know I've been told "you need to focus on yourself" but when I do I feel guilty for not doing enough for someone :(/>/> I've always put others ahead of myself...this is very challenging. I am so terrified they will leave, that I never ask for anything ....if I ask for something..I become needy and I do not want to be that. The only person I asked things from was trish...and she passed away...now Im stuck, take a leap...hoping they won't leave or stay the way I am. DAMNIT!!!!!!!!!

Share This Entry: