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Little girl lost

Posted by BattenbergPrincess , 23 September 2013 · 87 views

Ok, here goes nothing. I'm hoping to find people who understand what I've gone through. It's also reassuring to know I'm not the only one out there. Right now, I feel ill. Depressed. Sick. Anxious. However you want to phrase it. I am really struggling and it just feels like it'll never get better. I just want to stay inside all day and disappear. I was raped just over a year ago, I've never felt more depressed about it like I have recently. I've had suicidal thoughts, attempted suicide twice this year and lost about 90% of my friends. I used to be full of life, with shiny hair and a curvy figure. I've lost so much weight, my skin's gone so pale I don't even recognise myself any more. I feel like a little girl lost in a big grown up world. Sorry for ranting. Love, Becky xx



Becky,

I think most of us on here understand these feelings and emotions. We all cope differently and some of us (me included) have moments where we punish ourself by not doing what we need to move through the pain. You didn't say if you have a counselor or therapist?? I hope you do. Also group therapy helps a lot. You do get through the pain, but it can be like you hit rock bottom before you go back up.

It's just not easy, and is very painful. I've had to tell myself it's a war for me, and I refuse to let abuse win. I refuse to allow another persons actions to define the rest of my life, so I've tried everything out there to help me heal or keep me from crashing so low. I never go long without a "tool" (counselor or help) in place to get me to the next stage. If you can think of it like that, it may help. This will not last forever even though it feels like it will. You will have days of sunshine again. Life really is about change and seasons. One day it's bleak and dreary and the next it's laughter and sunshine....This can come, not without a painful journey, but it is possible.

I hope you find peace soon. Take good care!

Orchid
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BattenbergPrincess
Sep 24 2013 12:33 PM
Thank you so much! It's so nice to know there are people out there who feel like I do and want to help each other. Yeah I do have a counsellor, but we've only just started really so it's not been much yet.

Thank you so much, you take care too!

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