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Research Project is Triggering

Posted by kjw9311 , 06 April 2014 · 120 views

Hello Everyone,
 
A lot of time has passed....about a year now. I'm doing really well, in fact I've even ended all contact with my attacker! The people who I thought were helping me, but emotionally were destroying me, are gone as well. Don't worry- I still have friends! Just not as many and for now, that's what I need.
 
The reason why I decided to get back on here, is honestly because of a research project. I'm doing mine on whether or not r**ist's should recieve the death penalty. At first I felt as though I could learn things and feel empowered by my research and stance. Ever since I took the project on, I've lost sleep, had panic attacks and just feel awful. I can't change the subject, it's too late- but I'm wondering if anyone has advice or went thru a similar problem? I have three weeks before my assignment is due.
 
That's all! I'll probably be checking in more often, but for now I'll leave with that! A huge thank you goes out to anyone who sees this and comments (:
 
-kjw9311
 
 



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intrepidshe
Apr 06 2014 06:14 PM

Hi KJW,

 

I'm sorry the project is triggering. I imagine your impulse to pursue it was healthy. There is empowerment in exploring truth, which is something I beleve research does. I'm not saying research provides truth, necessarily, but it helps us explore it.

 

I hope you find a way to move forward.

 

First of all, I think you are in need of further healing, which is evidenced by the triggering. Maybe on a deep, unconscious level you took on the project in small part because of the need for further healing. I think it could be the need to transcend.

 

I am also working on a research project. But, it's very difficult emotionally. I can only tolerate small doses. I have gathered some literature but I have not been able to sit and read it.

 

The way I see it you have a few choices:

  • Ask your professor if you can change topics
  • Work with a T and stay with your topic
  • Possibly withdraw from the course if your healing need requires your full attention
  • Communicate here in Pandy's for support.

Whatever you choose, you will make the right choice that is correct for you in this moment.

 

All my best to you!

 

Intrepid

Thanks for the advice....I agree, maybe on some level I was looking for answers... I used to have a T but she released me, said I didnn't need help anymore...at times I've questioned stopping by just once, but I don't want to really talk about anything (maybe that's it?). Anyways, thanks again (:

Its hard to go through a rape and even more when you are forced to keep seeing your attacker getting new friends helps as well. Keep your chin up  and remember you are not alone

thanks (:

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