Is it normal to feel completely numb toward my rapist? I guess it feels odd for me because he was a childhood friend i knew for about 10 years. whenever i think of him and what he did to me, i cant muster or feel any emotions. No hate, anger, sadness, etc. I think of him and i feel absolutely nothing, yet I find myself terrified of him ever coming to find me, or running into him. i feel like i should hate him for what hes done, and i think some where deep, deep down inside that i do, but im having difficulty channeling any emotion besides absolute fear of his return.