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to quote Sylvia Plath...

Posted by missophelia , 03 March 2013 · 93 views

Dying is an art, like everything else. I do it exceptionally well. I do it so it feels like hell. I do it so it feels real. I guess you could say I've a call.

-Sylvia Plath


I've done it for so long, it seems there should be nothing left of me. A part of me died when I was 10, when I was molested. A part of me died when I was a teenager and my uncle tried to rape me. A part of me died when I was in the US Navy, when I was raped.

But it's more than just those physical instances. It's the dying inside, the dying in my soul. The dying that is an offshoot of every painful emotion I have felt since I was a young girl. It's the dying that still occurs, deep inside of me. And that dying is real. And that dying does feel like hell.

Can anyone relate? Does anyone fear that dying? Does anyone want to join me?



(((missohpelia))) I can relate. I fear the dying too. I've come to believe that we are far more than the parts of us that died during the rape, attempted rapes and other abuses. THOSE are the parts I cling to so stubbornly. There is so much more to us than the dying parts, the pain and struggles. Fight for THOSE parts hon. We can win that battle!

Much Love! :hug:/> :hug:/> :hug:/>
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missophelia
Mar 03 2013 03:14 PM
Susan,

I'm sorry you can relate. And I'm sorry you fear the dying too. I also fear the dying, but there is a part of me, and not a particularly small part, that doesn't fear the dying.

I do understand what you say about the other parts, and I think we do have to fight for those parts. And as dark as it seems sometimes, I have to try and believe that we can win that battle.

Lots of love!!! :hug: :hug: :hug:

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