Becoming Who I Want To Be
He told me last night, that no matter what, he is going to stay by my side, and that even though he's going away for a college for a long time, that does not mean he is leaving me. He wants to be with me once he gets his doctorates in Physics and in all this other fancy science stuff, he's going to come back for me and hold me one more time, and never let go. Yeah, two years may not be long enough for some people to know that your true love is true, but when I look into his eyes, I can't help but see my future inside them, and see myself live with him for as long as I live. I feel odd thinking about it, but he has always been there for me.
There was a night that I ran away from home, and left my family, my friends and everyone behind. As no one else noticed, he found me on the dock of a lake where he first told me he loved me. That was the place that I had the most peace of mind, and to create that feeling again was to stand there and feel the cold air brush my cheeks, the cold water smoothly move back and forth on the sands beside me, and to feel my heart flutter like a hummingbird. That was the night he gave me a promise ring, and he held me tight, asking me to go live with him for a while. I agreed and told my family that i was willing to do that for myself.
Man it's been so long and honestly, I'm really scared to let him go, and I don't want to lose him. He was the one who told me to be me, and he made me feel human again, and he created a place for me to stay alive.
The night I told him about my life he held me close and said,
"Ashley, I want you to be who YOU want to be. Not what anyone else wants you to be,what you want to be. I won't judge you any other way, and I won't tell you that you can't, because in all honesty, you can, and I know you're strong enough to handle it. I love you."