Pandora's Aquarium: Depression vs stressed/worried - Pandora's Aquarium

Lately, I am just slipping back and forth with the two. I have been feeling a lot of loneliness, but even when I go out I am always stressed that I should be working. I am a writer, or trying to become one, an have not lost interest in that since I have been writing for years. I have been tired all weekend since I have been the computer an insane amount for school. Not trying to make up excuses because I know that this is bothering me even more, especially since my mother made herself clear that this is her home so she will do and have whoever done (abuser). I know this, it is realistic, but I am just tired of feeling though that I need to "prove" something. I know I do not. People are either going to believe or not. I am looking more on the not part.



I just feel a sense of abandonment because my dad and mom always seem to stick up for brother (abuser) and I kick my ass so much that I deserve this or that. I am praying more, at least I hope, for not hating myself or others. I have noticed that I am not okay nor will ever be healed. I guess I just need to learn how to "accept" my life that way it is and that one day, I feel find a serene place.