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horrible....

Posted by missophelia , 27 March 2013 · 42 views

Today was horrible. I almost called Dr K. But I was so busy with work, and then I had to meet with my tax preparer. I didn't have the time to breathe!

Work is getting to be increasingly harder for me. I don't know why. I get horrible anxiety, and get so depressed. Which makes no sense. It isn't that high pressure of a job. It's also getting harder for me to go out at all, for anything.

I don't understand what's going on with me. But I do know that if I feel that way tomorrow, when I'm working, I will call Dr K.

My impulse control isn't great. And with the thoughts running through my mind, I think I need to talk to Dr K.

When I get the way I was today, there is a part of me that doesn't want to be on this planet.

I still haven't thrown my tool away. I haven't used it, but it is there. I thought about it today, about throwing it away, but I just got horrible anxiety.

I am just a horrible mixture of emotions. I am fighting crying. I'm fighting urges. I am fighting not giving up.

And I'm so tired of it all.

It's all just horrible.



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Untangling-It-All
Mar 27 2013 06:33 PM
I'm short on words. I am sorry you are struggling so much. :hug: :hug:
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missophelia
Mar 27 2013 06:48 PM
thanks, Untangling
Hi missophelia,

I'm sorry you such a horrible day. I think it's a good thing you know if you need to call your Dr or not.

I hope those feelings of not wanting to be here ease for you.

Well done for not using your tool, regardless or keeping it. If you can't throw it away yet don't. You didn't use it though and that is great!.

I can hear that you are fighting and that you are tired. It is so good you are fighting though.

I'm sorry it's all so horrible :hug:
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missophelia
Mar 28 2013 03:55 AM
thanks, MissHannah

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    Blog Warning

    This is a blog of my feelings, my emotions, my joys, my sorrows, my thoughts, my struggles as I heal. All raw and real. I am not censoring my blog, so please take gentle care of you.

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