Work is getting to be increasingly harder for me. I don't know why. I get horrible anxiety, and get so depressed. Which makes no sense. It isn't that high pressure of a job. It's also getting harder for me to go out at all, for anything.
I don't understand what's going on with me. But I do know that if I feel that way tomorrow, when I'm working, I will call Dr K.
My impulse control isn't great. And with the thoughts running through my mind, I think I need to talk to Dr K.
When I get the way I was today, there is a part of me that doesn't want to be on this planet.
I still haven't thrown my tool away. I haven't used it, but it is there. I thought about it today, about throwing it away, but I just got horrible anxiety.
I am just a horrible mixture of emotions. I am fighting crying. I'm fighting urges. I am fighting not giving up.
And I'm so tired of it all.
It's all just horrible.