i want to be back on form and it all to be over and im fighting fit again
i tried to withdraw from pandys and stop talking to those who cared for me in an attempt to kid myself everything is okay again. i stopped using trigger coping techniques with the idea that i didnt need them any more. im now realising that i need to use these techniques, im realising ....
i am normal i just need a bit more support because of what i have been through.
i worry people will treat me differently becuase of my history, they pity and guilt etc but im starting to realise that there are people out there who are genuinly there for me and they are the people i need to pull close. i tend to pull people that are bad for me closer to me and im realising what i am doing before its too late.
i am healing
i am doing well
things will get better
i have a strong support network
im off my meds
i feel strong
i feel courageous
i have closure
i have a future
im going to achieve
i need to take steps but not leaps, i get carried away and the big things i want to achieve in my life seem unachievable then i get low as im not achieveing them but that only becuase im missing out the steps inbetween, out of 50 steps im trying to take them in tens, maybe sometimes i need to take them in points
10 20 30 40 50
1.1 1.2 1.3 1.4 1.5 1.6 and before you know it you reaching whole numbers, these small steps are achievable every day
from getting up, washed and dressed, to talking to a friend about a dream, visiting pandys or going down the shop for cup cake ingredients ! eventually they become going to university, working a job, having your own home .... and after that... a degree, a good job and perhaps even a family.
the possibilities for my future are endless